Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Weight is Over

It's time!
(It's about that time, ya'll!)
Time to make a change.
(Yep, yep.)
I am the woman who can do it!
-Verse Adapted from The Winans

Know this song? Well I'll be singing it all day because I finally felt it. I finally felt the pull to go back to the size I was before I had Daughter. I've been meaning to. I've been wanting to but losing weight is not a choice one makes lightly. You've got to be in the right frame of mind to do it and you've got to do it for YOU, no one else, or else your resolve will change when the circumstance changes. Plus it costs money and you've got to get to a place where you outweigh the fear of spending money. Doesn't matter if you do it all yourself. It still costs to eat right and if you can't accept that, you won't be losing weight any time soon.

I've done this twice before a la LA Weight Loss and I LOVE them. I've been a plus size most of my teen-age to adult life (14/16 most of the time) and I've been relatively OK with it because I was balanced and still an hourglass shape. I was pretty much content and I got male attention too. But after I had Son, woo whee! A size I had NEVER been before and now have been twice. Not fun at all. Unfortunately I get more hips and stomach at this size and it starts competing with the boobs (which were a C cup when I was born, though I'm far from there now) are always a size larger than the rest of me, and usually offers wonderful coverage of the never-great-looking stomach area. But not at THIS weight. (Sorry. Can't tell you the number. I don't know it anyway but I can guess.) At this weight it's just a chore.

For now, it's not quite 7 a.m. and I just wanted to let you all in on this. I'll be back later to tell you why LA and what my goal is.


And I'm back. Made the appointment. I'll be seeing Joe at 6, but I'll be skeptical about him because while I have no problems doing this at a weight loss center, this is still a personal thing and if I ain't telly Hubby, I'm not feeelin' telling "Joe". We'll see.

I hear you asking why I'm not telling Hubby. Simply put, it's my business. He can sit back and reap the rewards.

So, I know what my body can do. I can lose 2 pounds a week if I behave and actually it's not that hard to behave. I just get cravings now and then or I go to some kind of food-centered event. But for me, I've learned that water is truly a magic elixir. It can indeed wash away the sin, but you'll be going to the bathroom a lot too. So, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I should be back to normal in about 2 1/2 months, back to the perfection I almost was in about 5.

Weight loss is such a personal subject and I'll share it with you here but I've got to admit, I don't really like discussing this in depth because I know that every body - literally - is different. What works for one is not guaranteed to work for another. Tricks are temporary. What works is eating less and moving more. Period. My mom did LA some years ago, unbeknownst to me, and found she only lost weight if she ate liver and cabbage and some other really limited diet. Worked for me, not for her.

My sister-in-law asked me about this plan. She's doing Weight Watchers. I told her, as I'm telling you, you don't want to do that yo-yo thing if you can avoid it. LA works but I didn't want her to be disappointed if it didn't happen for her. She said WW actually worked for her so I said, if WW is working for you, then either find the discipline to work the plan or find peace with the weight you get to. I didn't want to do WW because I didn't want to get into some group and discuss this. I know why I gained - after first baby - I know why I eat. I don't want to cry about it or complain or go "woe is me" or have a bunch of nagging cheerleaders in my ear. One is enough, thank you. LA is one-on-one counseling and I love that. You're in, you weigh, you look at your diary, discuss what you must (but I keep them in check) and move on! I just can't let this take over my life or my talk.

I also shared this plan with two of my friends and I don't know what they concluded but I don't think they looked into it either. I really could do a commerical for LA Weight Loss - I suppose I'm doing one now! - but I'd have to stipulate, "Every body is different. Find YOUR thing!"

Now, that being said, I lost this weight the first two times without exercise. It was simply the food. But as a consequence of losing weight, I personally do move more. I love my treadmill but it's packed away now until we get a house, but you can be sure I'll be on it again when she resurfaces. I just have to decide now where I want to be.

Now, as for my own yo-yoing. See I lost the weight the first time almost 5 years ago in preparation for my wedding. Then I got married and some strange thing happens where just simply being married takes up your time. You aren't doing much, but somehow you disappear. I guess you're busy staying home and staring at each other. I don't know. So I did that but I didn't reach my goal then so I couldn't do the maintenance. Then about a year later I got sick of looking at my stomach and finally went back to finish the job. I got FIVE POUNDS from my goal and stopped losing weight. Know why? Got pregnant. (Another consequence of losing weight. Careful ladies!) Again, didn't get to do maintenance.

So hopefully, the 3rd time is the charm and I will reach the goal and do the maintenance part. But now I have to lose it all over again. Had the 2nd child and gained but I gained back to my original weight before the 1st child. (Keeping up?) It was a good deal. Then I got sick for 5 months. I battle chronic eczema and I won't go into how bad it can get but for now I'll say I was down for 5 months due to it (couldn't walk for 2 of those days), plus I had to move out of my apartment of 10 years and in with in-law, plus I hated hated hated my job. My stress = eating. Presto! Back to bad weight. Now I'm starting over.

The good news is I learned from the second time that I actually didn't need to lose as much as I thought. The medical community thinks my ideal weight should be somwhere between 125-164 pounds. Guess what? Too small for me! I originally thought I wanted to be 160 but I found out 170 is perfect for me. Isn't it funny how someone will look at that number and think, "I'd die if I weighed that much!" But I'm a 5 ft. 8 in., buxom black girl. It looks good on me. Trust me.

So, my son took this blurry semi-before picture of me this morning. Forgive him. He's only 6, but he did manage to make mommy look good by strategically moving the camera phone. He loves me. So get a good look. I don't intend to revisit this. If I can get LA to take a digital photo - yes, they take before and after photos - I'll post it for ya so you can gasp.

Last night Son says to daddy as daddy lay sprawled across our bed, "Daddy, why are you fat?" He had recently seen a high school photo of him when he was super skinny. But he's 6'3". Gotta give him room for that. Son then says, "Why can't you be skinny like mommy?" God love him! Hug, hug, hug. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

Feeling good already.


theresa said...

Nice photo! I like going to Curves, I burn off lots of calories working out. As for dieting, I'm horrible at that. Let us know how it's going... I wish I could have that kind of disipline

Monica said...

Trust me, you've got the better end of the deal! It's my lack of discipline that makes it hard to exercise - oh and lack of time (or willingness to create time). I hear great things about Curves. Believe it or not, as I lose weight, I get the desire to exercise. Maybe I'll go there - one day!

theresa said...

I know some great Curves in CT! The one in Marlborough rocks! Those ladies are so funny.