Monday, April 26, 2010

Becoming the Proverbial Woman

This morning I looked in my fridge for Miracle Whip. I love Miracle Whip. I tolerate mayo. My husband buys what I prefer. So I went looking and it's a little nuts in there because Mr T. tends to keep things in the grocery bags he buys them in. He also fills the freezer so I don't even see the REAL deal going on in there most times.

I HATE to the clean the refrigerator. I can wash dishes until the cows come home. I can do laundry every single day and pretty much do. I tend to be the one to clean the tub and walls (we have that crappy formica that I had really hoped to avoid when we bought a house, so this is no small feat) and I also clean the huge bathroom mirror, whereas Mr. T gets the floor and toilet, as he should. Men are usually the culprit there anyway. He vacuums and grocery shops and usually cooks (though this could be healthier) and we both change all the sheets (not easy either) and mop the stupid kitchen floor, which is only horrible because I have two short people living there who can't seem to see the messes they make even though the floor is off white. (Hope we get to change that one day.)

No, of all the things we have to do, the thing I despise is the refrigerator. I just hate pulling that darn thing apart to wash it out. I have yet to defrost the freezer to really scrub it.

This morning I thought to myself, "It's time to give this away."

If you have not met the woman from Proverbs 31, let me introduce you to her. She means well, but she has made life hard for many women - usually Christian since she is from the Bible after all - as they strive to be like her. But here's the thing. She's actually misunderstood.

Too many women are probably looking at her thinking, dang she does it all and I have to be superwoman too! But that woman does not say to do it all. Men may have said this and some women may have heard it from people who choose to ignore what this woman is doing. But you have to read the words that are here and not twist them.

Meet the wife from Proverbs 31:10-31:

10 c]">[c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

She's cool, right? MY interpretation of her is:
  • Her husband trusts her.
  • She, in turn, does what she can to be of help to him - this includes not trashing him to others.
  • She works - no one said this was a traditional 9-to-5 job, ladies.
  • She goes outside of her borders if need be to get what she needs.
  • She's taking care of her family and even the people who work for her. (Note that she has others working for her. THIS is how you do it all, in case you didn't know.)
  • She's got her OWN money and she's wise about it.
  • She works hard and she's able to do a variety of things too.
  • She volunteers.
  • She prepare for the future.
  • She makes sure her own home has the best she can get for it. (And in doing so, she pretty much keeps things in priority, not neglecting home OR herself. Make a bed out of fine linens and you benefit as well as your husband, right? Right.)
  • Her husband is respected, most likely because she chose a quality man in the first place, but also because of her helping him in that way women do - gently guiding them, whispering our opinions but letting them have their pride about things. What's wrong with letting them have their pride, I say.
  • Being clothed with "strength and dignity" speaks volumes all by itself, and being able to laugh at the days to come indicates a certain amount of maturity and preparation and also the ability to not stress over small things.
  • She's wise.
  • She's diligent.
  • She's got her children's best interest at heart.
  • Above all, she keeps God first and in doing so, so many of these other things become easier to do.

Becoming the Proverbial Woman most likely requires some dying to self - dying to the need to get your way all the time or to be right about everything. If you are even a little bit of a man-hater - and plenty of us have some of that in use - dying to the need to rule him and make him do whatever we think he needs to do to make us feel good about ourselves. How about you take that job on yourself, huh? Go boost your own self-esteem and stop letting it all rest in his hands in the first place. The better you feel about yourself and the more willing you are to do whatever you need to to achieve this (everything has limits. Don't take this out of context.), the more he's going to love your confidence and the glow you get because you're happy. If he doesn't like that confidence, I'd question it.

My search for a VA for my business was work, but just thinking about having help doing the things I don't know how to do or don't like to do lifted my spirits so much. And made it easier to seriously talk to myself about getting someone to come clean my fridge at least once a month. It's good for my family and it keeps me from looking at the fridge with disdain. At some point I'll get a cook too to do maybe 2 meals a week because I also HATE cooking and I refuse to make myself like it. Why waste my time on things I hate? I could be doing other things and my family still reaps the benefits.

I am also more and more unapologetic about disliking the things I do. I know it's hard to imagine a mother NOT wanting to cook, but guess what? I'm not the only mother I know who is this way. So get over your traditional ideas, or at the very least, don't try to hold me to your standards. I won't stick. As I strive to be me more and more, and to let go of the things I never wanted to hold on to in the first place, I find myself unknowingly becoming this woman I do believe is the ideal - ideal, not necessarily what we SHOULD be, but it doesn't hurt to look at her and what she does and think, "What do I want for my family? What do I want for myself? How can I achieve these things?"

Now go do it. You'll be happier for it.

Friday, April 16, 2010

A Bad Poem

Ick. Ick. Ick. I've been sick. Even sleep won't do the trick.

Ache. Ache. Ach. My head aches. My throat is sore, my stomach quakes. (sometimes)

Ow. Ow. Ow. My neck hurts now. The room, it spins. I hate to chow.

Work, work, work, yes it's berserk. But I don't care. It's just my quirk.

Gotta go.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


My friend Kerri is in captivity. She's bed on hospitalized bed rest since last month and she's losing her poor mind. Baby is coming Thursday, though! I wanted to see about carrying on a meme she did on her blog, Six Until Me.

Me? I need a nap right now. Between creating a sample book allll day Staurday and looking for a virtual assistant and all the stuff going on at work, I needed a little break myself. So let's see how I answer these questions. Feel free to meme it up on your blog too!

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Just ate a Wendy's fish sandwich that I got 2 hours ago, but couldn't eat because the fried filled me. Now if I can just keep the darn office dog out of my trash.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
With the iMac at my job.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero? Never have, likely never will.

4. Name someone who made you laugh today? My nephew! You should see his 1-year-old self babbling and celebrating God knows what. Life, I guess. He makes me happy.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? About 12:30, because I wanted to chill a bit before I fell asleep, I insist on it, so I watched some taped stuff - House and a little bit of How I Met Your Mother before my eyes called it quits.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you? When I am older, yes. For now, I am happy to live in my house that I own and to let my kids experience the same people from school to school to school.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Hmm, they cause fireworks, but under them? Don't think so. Ask me again July 5th.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on your FaceBook list?
The VERY closest is my sister-in-law who lives around the corner, but I have a friend equally close the other direction on my street. Kind of sad we're Facebook friends, right?

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I've seen it happen.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? Can him.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? Beats me. Maybe I'm overdue. Wah!

12. Who took your profile picture? Me, myself and I. Gotta do better.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
One of my kids. I think my son after he won his 4th-place trophy in the Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby Race.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
Eh. It was better because I was already home at this point, but today I have more done so I guess that wins.

15. Can you live a day without TV? As long as my DVR is working, sure thing.

16. Are you upset about anything? Tired right now. Not upset. Just need a nap.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? What?! If all you get are the kids like I have, then heck yeah! But if you get someone to play with when you're old, like I have, then all the better.

18. Are you a bad influence?
I wish.

19. Night out or night in? In! In! Kick the kids out and stay in!

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Chapstick, hands down.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Whew. Not sure I recall.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
It's a 1SaleADay message from Twitter. You don't wanna know.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? When I think about what I've experienced and what I've been blessed with, I still ask God to pinch me.

24. Do you hate anyone?
Hate is a strong word. No one has done anything to me that requires that.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
Waaaay too many pages I should see and games people are playing and I really should just hit delete.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? Not sure. Just took 2 Advil. Does that show up?

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Not to my face.

28. What song is stuck in your head? - You asked. Now Mary J. is in YOUR head too. And oh, Terrence Howard is in this video so excuse me while I hang here a bit.

I'm back.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., a secret lover or George Clooney?
My husband just forgot something.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? That would mean my son would be about 20. Better not!

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Work. What else is new?

32. Do you think too much or too little? I give myself a headache. Answers your question?

33. Do you smile a lot? Eh. Enough.

Bonus Round...

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may make me seem like I ignore those people I live with.

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be? I keep seeing people with bigger issues than me. Can I just be me?

36. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter is faster.

37. Chicken or Beef?
Chicken is cheaper.

38. Mac or PC? At home, I'm PC down but if I ever win a Mac (Hey. I attract computers. This COULD happen.), I'm all for it.

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face? Ohhhh, how I'd want to, but it looks like it hurts!

40. Last music received or purchased?
Got Whitney's single Million Dollar Bill on iTunes. Sure hope she gets her act together.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

We Are Here! We Are Here!

I have not been here in two weeks and two days (yowza!), because I have been here

and here

and here.

And networking here

and here

and here.

And visiting her

and her

and her.

And writing and learning and doing and working and reading and talking and planning and seeking and finding and generally, growing my business. Two jobs in the hopper, one job on the table, virtual assistants to interview (don't ask me where the money is coming from. I just know we need help), guest bloggers to find, our first real art puzzle underway (can't wait to see it). So. much. fun.

But I am here, oh yes I am. Here to tell you that I am still keeping on and so can you if you are pressing toward your special mark. I've been really buried in the computer and I'm sure my kids would like me to untie that particular cord, but I can't! Not yet! I am working on things being set up so that I can more easily do that in the future, but that's the challenge - I am setting things up in a way we should have set them up years before. But who knew? Who wanted to pay? I didn't and honestly, I still don't, but it's a true investment in my freedom in more ways than one. And you know what? There are a TON of really smart, capable people who get our vision. You can't keep it to yourself, you know? Other people CAN carry the torch if you pass it to them. And so we shall. We'll still lead the way. It is our baby, after all. But we're more than happy these days to let others help us carry the load.

If you hang out at the Village Works Blog from time to time (and please do visit. I'm working like crazy over there!), you'll meet some of those people in the form of guest bloggers or people I get quotes from for posts or people I feature. All supportive of our vision and we theirs.

I'd say more but who needs to? Instead I need to go remake my list of things I do and start getting my Virtual Assistant needs better sorted so I can respond to the plethora of people who are responding to my call for help. Just the thought of working with some of them makes me so happy.

Next time, I'll see if I have anything going on in the rest of my life to talk about!