Thursday, June 28, 2007

Give Me Back My Freakin' Clock!

Kids changed me. I knew that. But I get reminders of how little sleep I get all the time and the reason for that? Those darn kids obviously reset my internal clock while they were floating around inside my body! I used to be able to stay up all night. The break of dawn was my signal to get thee to bed before daylight streams in and turns thee to dust!

If I went to bed at midnight, I could sleep until noon easy. My mother never got it. I doubt she gets it now. She told me of the time when I was a baby and how I sat up waiting for my night-working father to come home. "See? I was born this way? Why do you continue to torture me about sleeping late?"

My first full-time job was a wonderful 5 to 1 a.m. schedule at a newspaper. "Newspapers are open at night?" people would ask. "How else do you think you get fresh, morning news," I'd respond as the light went on in their head and they realized it had to come from somewhere. I worked Sunday through Thursday and I LOVED it. I admit, I hated to go in on Sunday afternoon while everyone else was lazing about, but generally I loved the freedom to go to the mall and park next the handicap spots. And doctor's appointments could be made at any time I chose.

Those were the days. Now?

Now I can barely make it past 10 and when I do, I am forcing myself simply so I can enjoy the precious quiet time that comes when Daughter finally gives up the fight and succumbs to sleep.

Now I am yawning all the time, and I know it's out of fatigue, not boredom. Now I am hating the clock because all it does is taunt me as it ticks relentlessly down to that hour when I must reluctantly go to bed in hopes of getting some rest for the next day, and if, per chance, I can't sleep, then it teases me about how quickly it can run and just how little time I have to really sleep before the sun wakes me from my inadequate slumber.

Those tykes that are currenly stomping over my head are the reason I can no longer hang. They are making me old! They are draining my energy! They are diminutive chronological vampires, forcing me to watch as they get bigger but I just get more tired!

I've got to stop. I'm sleepy now.

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