I felt like publishing myself today. As I go through the boxes in my office, it is truly amazing the stuff I have forgotten about over the years. Found an old diary I wrote in from the ages of 11-13, though it wasn't a daily thing. Sporadic but enough to preserve some times I've never forgotten and clearly was influenced by. I also came across this poem I wrote back when I had my one child and we had an incident with the Department of Children and Families all because of a grabby 2-year-old girl. This poem arose from my anger at that time:
Duty-bound, you only did the practice you had learned.
I did not act as you expected and so I seemed unconcerned.
But you know nothing of the depth of this mother's love.
You know nothing of the life she'd give to save her Own.
You know nothing of the circle of compassion that surrounds us day and night.
You know nothing about our way, our dreams, our hopes, our frights.
You look to scientific means to guide your daily moves.
I look to higher authority and strive to act in love.
You listen for indications of all you have been taught.
I listen to my inner voice, the Spirit within my heart.
My Spirit speaks of mercy, my Spirit speaks of peace.
My Spirit dwells in others too whose counsel I sometimes seek.
My Spirit calms my clawing fears and gives me the ability.
To be the parent I dream of, the one I pray to be.
The patient one, the loving one, the one who's by his side,
the maternal one with spiritual bonds weaker only than hers with God.
I am so very proud to be the one chosen to raise this son.
This is a job for me and mine. You are not the one.
Instead maybe you should spend some time studying how things are supposed to be.
The father, the mother, and the child, God's familial trinity.
M.O.M. Blogger Monica - April 13, 2001