Allergies or Glasses?

I'm still here - and so are my anniversary flowers, though one set is on life support right now. The poor buds are drooping like someone told them they were no longer beautiful. The other flowers will probably be as depressed by the end of the week.

I haven't been blogging because I haven't been feeling all that great. Had a cold last week that made me want to do nothing but sleep. I had to force myself to eat because I don't want to get off my weight loss track but I didn't eat everything I should. Oh well. Still lost weight. Hopefully, it won't turn around and bite me in the butt later when I go back to eating 100% of what I should.

For over a month and half now, my eyes have been bothering me big time. I assumed allergies since it was August and they were itchy, but too itchy for too long. So I went to the doctor and she gave me something that made it a lot less itchy but I was still supporting the makers of Visine all by myself plus I began not being able to open my eyes in the mornings. Literally I had to pry them open using my fingers. Fun. So I went to the clinic one Sunday afternoon and she gave me something else that took away the need to use my fingers to pry open my eyelids but there is still a little effort needed to open them. Plus I can hear myself blink sometimes and I'm teary all the time. VERY annoying.

So my hairdresser is a friend of mine and she joked me all Saturday telling me I'd need glasses. I told her what I had experienced asking her if it was possible to go from perfect vision to squinting overnight. And this after about 13 years using computers regularly - though I admit not nearly as much as I have been this past year or so. She said she had been in a meeting at work one day, looked up at something written on the board and couldn't see it. She had been experiencing everything I am now, including the glued eyelids. She found out she needed glasses. God forbid.

I just hate the thought of putting out money for something like this right now. Mr. T. and I just decided last night that we'd shoot for a balcony room on the cruise we're taking next year. Not the one he was planning for us but his nephew's wedding invite arrived last week and where will it take place? On a cruise! Change of plans! (Aside: Do you think Nephew's note told us where we were going? Nope. And he didn't know when asked! We figured it out ourselves online. Ocho Rios - already went to Jamaica for honeymoon - and Grand Cayman - new place. OK, we'll go.) So since the kids will be with my family and we were going to take a cruise anyway (and since it's on the same boat we were on for the only other cruise we've taken in life so far) we figured let's just get a room with a real view this time and that runs about $1,300 PER PERSON. And we don't plan to share. So this means we need to start saving NOW. There is just no room in my budget for glasses.

Now, my children's Godmother saw us in church yesterday and she had on her shades, telling me her eyes have been bothering her. I explained what was happening to me and she's been going through it too! Praise God! A chance I'm OK! She already went to the eye doctor and they confirmed it's allergies for her. I do hope I get the same diagnosis. But in the meanwhile, I have to look at the screen or a piece of paper and take a moment to see if there is a clearer way to see it, after I wipe away the tears, of course. My head is even hurting a little right now and I get headaches so rarely that I take nothing for them when they hit.

It may seem vain but I just hate the thought of glasses. The way I run around, I'd drop them or step on them or my daughter would steal them and hide them from me and how do you find your glasses without your glasses? I'm looking forward to going to the eye doctor tomorrow if only to bring this nonsense to an end. I go regularly - I do ALL my medical stuff regularly. Why die from something you could have prevented? - so I'm not afraid they'll say something drastic. But what if I have to wear glasses? I can't abide the thought of sticking something in my eye so I can't even think contacts as a way to avoid having one more object on my person at all times.

All this conjures images of old The Twilight Zone. You know the episode. The one with Burgess Meredith. The old man loved to read all the time. He goes into a bank vault - where he works - for a lunch break and some poetry and comes out to find out that he has survived the A Bomb. Now he has all the time in the world - oh yes! That was the name of it, I think - to read and a library full of books and oops! He drops and steps on his eyeglasses rendering himself blind as a bat AND alone in the world. OK, may be a bit dramatic, but what pressure!

Excuse me. I'm going to whine now: I have enough to contend with with my skin issues, God. Don't you agree? And even though I am losing weight - for the second time - I am real with myself and I know weight will be a lifeling battle for me. I have accepted these things. One of the few things I had was my vision and yes, it's vanity, but I always get compliments on my eyes from men and women. Glasses would hide that! I made it to 35 with no eye problems. Don't take it away from me now!

Stay tuned.