Saturday, November 03, 2007

A Father's Love

God did something for me today. He met a physical need that truly only He knew the depth of. I can't tell you what it was - too personal - and if you had witnessed it, it would have seemed like a small gesture. But it wasn't and it never is when God takes the time to physically stand in front of you and say, "I hear you. I see you. I know what you need. I know what you want. I love you and I am always taking care of you." At least that's what I heard. My Angel only said, "When God tells me to do something, I listen." I had to walk awy before I cried, not that she wouldn't have understood it. I just needed a moment to process the fact the God just validated the need. So many times we think we put ourselves into certain situations because of what we do or don't do. It seems unavoidable, maybe even deserved, however - and I don't know about you - I am harshest on myself and I keep thinking I could have done something differently. I should have. But fixing it, isn't always as easy as you tell yourself it can be. You're just struggling in quicksand.

One of the blessings of being a parent is being in the place of God. To your child, you are the provider. You are the protector. You are the one who makes the bad things go away. You are the one they long to please just because they like to see your smile of approval. Children are not just our charges from God. They are a way to see and feel God in real terms. The lengths you go through to get your child what they want for Christmas. The sacrifices you make so they can take part in activities that they want to do. The sleep you lose because one ear is always listening to them as they sleep, making sure each breath is followed by another one, that the cough is a one-time occurrance. The jobs you sometimes take or stay with not because you want them but because you want your children to feel the security of a home.

They are carefree and full of laughter and hopping from place to place. You are stressed and aggravated and tired. But if you have one last dollar, you'll happily give it to them. If you are down to the last drop of gas in your car, you'll drive them to the moon and pray for a way back. As long as you have a pulse, you are there. And God? He's a million times the parent you are. So just imagine how He must look at us and feel for us. It's not always easy to see - unless you are looking through the eyes of a parent.

I still haven't the words to say to Him and I know I don't need to. But His reaching out to me, through her, just to make sure I knew that He touches me more than I know how to convey. But for certain I wanted to be certain to tell you all that He did that. Because somebody else, I am certain, needed to know it too.

No comments: