Join The Club?

So, my other post has to wait to go up. In the meanwhile, let me tell you Son's latest thing. Son - the bane of my bank account. The new Cub Scout who loves Transformers and Pokemon and is as silly as they come. Son. What's Son's newest thing? Club Penguin. Been here? Heard of it? I hadn't either until last night.

Son went to his friend's house after school yesterday for a play date. Aside: Such a silly term but time's have changed. You've got to make appointments to see your friends now. I guess there is no more knocking on the door. "Can Billy come out and play?" But in this case, Son and Son's Friend Z don't live within walking distance - at least not for them just yet. Too young.

So at Z's house, Son discovers Club Penguin and has not been able to stop talking since. "It's like the real world only it's not!"

When I came home last night...

"Mommy! Come here! I need you to name my penguin."

"What?"

"My penguin. Z and I were playing online and we went to Club Penguin. So now I need a name but every time we pick a name, it's not available."

Husband: "I keep trying and nothing is available."

Of course I still don't know what they are talking about but I am more patient than normal because I know Son is also waiting on me to make 3D glasses with him online for some reason I have yet to find out, but he has not bugged me in 2 days.

So this club is for penguins and they have their own world and Son needs to name his so he can get in there and see his friends but every name is taken.

"Oh. Well that happens all the time with things like these. You're probably going to have to add a number."

"Oh please! I need a name for my black penguin. And you're so good at these things. You thought of the pop up book. I never would have thought of that. You have good ideas."

Flatterer.

"How about ------?"

We try it. A no go. We try his first choice again and other options, all to no avail.

"How about ------?" he says.

It's available. ------ it is.

Now, I would tell you the names but I have to be a little cautious here, don't you think? I already told you the club. I can't put a name to my little penguin, even if it is a fake name. But he loves it and now I find out that there is a membership. Oooooffff course there is! Son asks me about it this morning but I'm thinking he's already a member. I asked a co-worker who also has a 7 y.o. son if she knows about this. Of course she does. So there's a lot you can't do if you aren't a member but I'm not up for more money going out right now - birthday parties, school trips, cub scout fundraiser, school fundraisers, book orders, unexpected doctor visits, Daughter's birthday to come - I'm being nickle and dimed as it is! Not one more thing, please!

Sigh. Next paycheck coming up soon. One more monthly bill. Oh well. See you at the Club!

Temporary Filler

OK. I had another post up this morning but had to take it down quick quick quick because I don't want it to be seen too soon by a possible reader I might have but I'm not sure I have so I have to be safe. Get it? No? Well, you will. Maybe tomorrow. When she is in my sight and I can be sure she didn't see this too early.

Oh, Monica, you're so cryptic. Yep. That's me.

Time to Play Catch Up!

A Good Word
First of all, I'd like to mention that Kerri gave me a little press over here at Aisle Dash, a wedding blog on AOL. Thanks, Kerri! Hopefully it will send traffic our way and better yet - business!

Failing the Test?
Speaking of business, the fundraiser is over as of today at the high school where we are testing this. We are crossing our fingers it's a significant amount of puzzle sets sold because the class adviser never kicked this thing off right resulting in way too few people even hearing about it. So some kids are selling but not nearly as many as we had hoped - we think. We'll see. Time to round up a new school and this time we'll make sure they kick it off right or they let us do it ourselves. On the plus side, we do have a major organization that wants to talk to our marketing rep about doing this too, as well as a PR agency that responded to a cold email she sent out in response to something she saw in the newspaper. Hopefully they'll both join the team!

Mo' Money!
In other news, children cost a ton of money! OK. This is no news flash for those of you who have them. The amount of things I have had to do for my kids lately is making me wish I had a part-time job so I can at least make money for ME! Fundraisers, cub scout uniform, birthday party necessities...it's getting insane. But that is the point of my business isn't it? To make it profitable enough to become a good side gig until it can become the real deal? Still, I am starting to feel like I will never catch up to their needs and wants and I am NOT an overindulgent parent. I just like to get them what they want from time to time because good kids like mine deserve that and generally speaking I like providing for them as much as I can. So this has to be my motivation. I have to get things into gear for all our sakes. It's not like we're not trying but we really need to do more.

Awaking the Muse
I'm writing again at last. Walking in the mornings is proving good for my creativity - as well as all the writing I've had to do for work lately, among other things. It's really rough and I'm only anxious to get a first draft for the sake of my crit group. But I'm glad something else is trying to come forth. Maybe it will get me back into submitting some other stuff again. But we've been talking about finding agents lately and I would love that. Get an agent or self-publish. I'm not sure I have the time or patience for anything else. My thing is doing it yourself is the only way to ensure things get done.

Speaking of Writing
I'm CONSIDERING NaNo again this year and I ain't got the time for it AT ALL. Somebody please talk me out of it! Right now I'm sleep because I've been out late every night this week for business meetings, cub scouts or silliness with co-workers. The delirium probably has me talking about NaNo again. I can't do it.

I can't.

I....might.

Just So You Know...

Yes, my child is now a cub scout - wolf pack! Shoot me now. Shoot me now.

Justice for Jena

The nonsense continues. As a person of color who blogs and writes and interacts with all sorts of people, I must help spread the word. Like the Paris, Texas incident (she is finally free now, by the way) and of course Imus, we see that racial disparity continues to rear its ugly head in a world where we should be more united by the fact that a lot of world would love to see us ALL demolished. But no, we still deal with places like Jena, Louisiana, which aggravates the heck out of me not just because my people of color are involved but because half of my blood relatives are Louisianians so I think of what they must sometimes face as residents there. A lot of this crap is taking place in my beloved South and that hurts too. This is life - still.

I've been listening to the buzz (and reading the mass emails) all week. Many supporters of the Jena 6 are going down there. Those of us who want to show solidarity are asked to wear black on Sept. 20th which is when one of the young men is supposed to go to court. It amazes me how many of the officials in Jena supposedly can't see how this is a racial issue. Maybe their hands and minds are tied by the offices they hold. Maybe in private they know the deal. But hanging nooses on a tree and claiming that tree (now cut down) to be "white only" should be enough to bring those private beliefs to light. The haters certainly have.

And oh, let me put it in perspective for you. These boys have the same bond (some higher!) as these 6 ignorant ********. Wonder what they'll get for torturing this woman? Wonder if she'll ever sleep again.

Only God can serve the true justice that in necessary in all these cases and I hope many of the family members get to be there when it happens, however it happens. But we stay tuned to hopefully hear these black boys with no records will not spend 22 years of their lives (down from the original 100 - not a misprint) in jail. Getting mad. Gotta go now.

Wordless Wednesday

OK, so I wouldn't be me if I didn't say a few words. But basically, it's just to say that I've never done WW. Liz does this all the time but this time I actually had something - thanks to my emailing brother - that fit the bill.

Drafted?

My son wants to be a Cub Scout. I don't know if it's truly his original thought, inspired by the flier that was sent home yesterday. Or if it's mostly influenced by the fact that a friend of his is in it. But when I asked him why he wanted to do it, his first response was he heard they teach you how to skateboard. I can't argue with this reasoning since it's rarely bad to learn how to do new things, though I have a hard time believing skateboarding is one of their activities. Having been a Brownie myself (never fully cooked to Girl Scout. Just wasn't in me.), I do see the benefit in doing something like this but should we let him? I keep seeing dollar signs and drains on my remaining energy.

So I took him to the info meeting last night, to his surprise, since we were on our way to the library when he tells me the flier sent home mentioned the meeting would be that very night. (Thanks for the advanced notice, guys.) But when he comes to me with reasonable requests, I have to find a way to honor them. Going to a meeting was the least I could do.

Since I didn't have a flyer but there was a sign conveniently posted near the library (with no address), I figured out where the church was that it was to be held. Eons pass with us listening to the den leader - nice guy if not a little loquacious. They build cars, they sleep over on battle ships, and oh yes, older kids do have some sort of skateboarding badge they can earn. Say what? It's not expensive - to register - but I see now that signing him up for Cub Scouts (Tiger Cub for his age) is like enlisting the whole darn family! They expect up to - gasp! - par-ti-ci-pate!

I already have a job and other stuff to do. I already promised my 3rd child to the PTA this year by actually putting myself on a committee. (Parental guilt is probably how the ranks of the PTA continue to grow.) The scouts want me to be there too! fundraising and helping and stuff! Groan! And some troops meet EVERY WEEK! Oh yes, that is what I was told. That's not including the monthly meeting with the larger group. Are they nuts? Am I for even considering it?

But I asked him again.

"Do you REALLY want to do this?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I can learn things, and make new friends, and it will be fun."

Now he chooses to get logical. Darn it. There is a meeting on the 19th so Son can see who his den leader would be should we decide to go through with this. I told Husband he needs to go because he would be as integral a part of this as I would be. I'll let you know what we decide.

My Version of "Footprints"

It's amazing how little time and money there is in my life when there is such an overwhelming need for them both, whether I want there to be or not. We won't go off on the money tangent right now. I'm just sick of every freaking payday lately being a day of infusing money into the latest must-pay-yesterday, must-have-this-item-today situation thereby setting my savings plans and desire to occasionally get some "wants" further and further on the proverbial back burner.

And time? Well, as usual, if I only had to work and deal with family, then I'd be set. But when you need to make time for a business and friends and reading and writing and exercise and sleep...you get the picture. It's frustrating but I've been determined to keep to my plan to reign in my time a little better and literally I know it all starts with one little step. So here's my little bit of encouragement for YOU all today with the little bit of time I am stealing from continuing to work on one of 3 huge projects at my job and a bunch of smaller-but-no-less-important ones.

Simply put - Change for the better is closer than you think.

I had a shorter version of that phrase as my message once this week on my IM window. A friend IM'd.

"What's closer than you think?"

"Any change you want to make!"

I explained to her that my experience has been that when I do something for a while and then stop, I hate it. I feel guilty. I know I need to start it up again but before long it's been a month, 6 months, a year and now I'm so far gone I just don't see how I'll ever get back. But when I resolve to go back, I simply turn around and so far it has always been quicker to get back than I thought it would be and I rejoice in the knowledge of that.

"Ah! I needed to know that!" she said.

And so I was happy to give that to someone that day.

In my case, God and I were a little too distant for my taste. I allowed life to get in the way and I know He knows that's to be expected when you are in my line of work - wife and mother - but that doesn't make it any better because most times He is the only one who truly understands when no one else does but I hate to bug Him with the bad stuff when I haven't been just chillin' with Him for the heck of it. (And before anyone gets a little stressed by what I just said or suddenly feels bound up by some religiosity that ingrained in them, know this. God WILL NOT ignore you for ignoring Him. He's bigger than that. Literally. So speak up and let Him surprise you.)

Always I'm promising to start spending time with Him again, reading my Bible - outside of church - for the relationship of it. But it never quite happens. My recent time management work has brought Him back to the forefront as well as my need to do any kind of exercise and to save something, anything, every single day.

So I save. Daily. And recently I needed it so I'm almost wiped out again but I had it. Good feeling.

And for now I walk in the mornings. I've been amazed how I've had the desire to get up and do it. I missed it. Used to do it all the time on my treadmill but my treadmill continues to stay at MIL's house for now so I walk outside for that "Waking Hour" Don Wetmore encourages. Before long I felt myself longing to walk a little longer, a little further and it came back to me how I used to do that and get a little high from it. I'll have to get my treadmill back though for those times when going outside that morning just can't happen.

While I walk, when I remember to think - because this is one time I can actually NOT think of a single thing and be perfectly content - I talk to God and we don't actually "stroll" together because I do walk at a good clip. But He keeps up! Imagine that! And we talk - yes, out loud. I don't really care how crazy I look at 5:45 in the morning - and despite the lack of time and seemingly insufficient funds, I know I am quite blessed so I just thank Him for being Him and for all the grace and peace in my life and for reminding me of something He has often reminded me of: No matter how far away you get from Him or from a regular fitness routine or from saving regularly or from spending quality time with family, etc., it's just a matter of stopping and going back to that forgotten but important aspect of your life and suddenly you will be right back there, as safe as always. I know for a fact that the miles you accidentally put between yourself and God can be eradicated in an instant just by turning around. You take one step, He takes the rest. I believe wholeheartedly that applies to all the other lapsed things as well.

So I take comfort and choose to share that change, life improvements, renewed relationships are all closer than you think. It's simply a matter of choosing to embrace them again.

Praying for Sleep

Another hectic week has passed. My mother brought the kids home Tuesday. My father drove up so he arrived on Wednesday. Son started school on Thursday but we figured there was no sense in sending Daughter back to preschool for a 2-day week so we waited until today to send her back. My father's 60th birthday was the 30th so we were able to celebrate with him for once. They left early Friday morning and Son's best friend literally since birth spent the night Friday night because as of Sunday he was moving to North Carolina with his father to start school while his mother and baby brother stay here to sell their house so they can go too. Sad times. Labor Day weekend was quiet and filled with bowling and eating out.

That brings us to 4 o'clock this morning when I awoke to the sound of Son's bedroom door opening. It sticks so you can't help but hear it. I thought he was going to the bathroom but then I noticed Mr. T wasn't next to me so when I saw Son go back to his room, I figured he was waiting.

I hear Son moving again and this time I sit all the way up and peek around to see no one is in the bathroom but Son's door is still open. So I lay myself back down and wait for Son to show up and tell me he had a nightmare or he's itchy or he's coughing a lot or he wet the bed or something. But nothing. I check his door and it's ajar but the only light is the light of his galaxy lamp I finally got hung up in his room. I fall back to sleep and am hastily awakened by my bright bedroom light overhead.

"Mommy, there's a praying mantis in the living room."

"What? Huh? Kill the light!" He does. "What are you talking about?" He's calm so I'm thinking he's just living out whatever dream he just had and he's sleepwalking a little. "I went to look for bugs and there's a praying mantis in the living room."

"You went to look for bugs?"

OK. I don't know much about these bugs but I do recall a praying mantis getting into some hotel I was at once with some other students years ago and someone saying something about never killing one of these things but getting it out is no easy fete. In our case, however, I was not quick to believe it could be the real thing. Still, what did he see? Wait a minute.

"Son, the living room has no light in it." (We haven't bought any lamps for that room yet and there's no light fixture so when it's dark outside, it's dark in there.) "How could you possibly see anything even if there were something there?"

"It's green and over by the TV."

He looks awake. He sounds awake. But I'm not convinced he can see a green, practically invisible-to-the-eye bug like a praying mantis in a dark corner like where that TV is currently located.

"Boy, it's 4 in the morning! Why on earth are you up looking for bugs?! Go back to bed!"

By now I have to get up and investigate because, well, I'm awake and you just never know. And where the heck is Mr. T, anyway? If there IS a praying mantis about, he's got a job to do. I see the kitchen door that leads downstairs is not only closed but locked. And now I'm really wondering because Mr. T is nowhere upstairs so downstairs is the only place he can be but he wouldn't close the door and lock it behind himself. I peek outside the living room window and all the cars are accounted for. I take a look over by the TV and Son has come in by now to see what I found but nothing. I open the kitchen door and Mr. T is soon upstairs wondering why so much walking is going on. Daughter has heard the commotion and now my whole house is up at 4:30 in the morning and all I can do is think of the sleep I am not getting. Mr. T finds a toy in the corner and tosses it over.

"Is this it?" He laughs. "No more cartoons for you!"

This morning I ask Son if he remembers getting up. He tells me he got up to watch TV. (So this must have been like 1 or 3 in the morning, is my guess. Time to unplug that thing.) He locked the kitchen door when he saw it was open and he said, "I smelled food so I went to see if there were any bugs." Yes, this is what he said exactly.

I don't know. Is it just me or are little boys just the oddest creatures alive?

Another Drab Day

Stupid cold is sapping my strength and energy. Forced myself to walk this morning but amazingly enough I was as sleepy when I got home as when I left and it is freakin' cold around here these days. People must have thought I was drunk. Swear I wasn't even walking in a straight line at times. And when I got home, I had to take a quick nap. Amazing I still got to work by 9 this morning. Must be the cold pills I took the night before, or so I thought. But it's 1:42 p.m. right now and I am dying to go back to bed.

So, my little cruising post has to wait. Folk ask about it and yes, I had a great time but I don't gush very often and it was everything I expected it to be so no disappointment there. Just wish I had my own little servant woman to pack and unpack my stuff at home. Husband did his in one fell swoop the day after we got back. Three bags and a carry-on's worth. I only had one bag and carry-on and both of them still have remnants of things that I need to put away. Eventually. I'm a little busy right now with the final touches for the big job my business has been preparing to do this fall, while blowing my nose in between thoughts and reading email.

I hate being sick and I hate being cold and darn it, I am dealing with both right now. Here. Look at this picture of Mr. T. lying on the beach in Antigua instead of listening to me whine. Antigua has 365 beaches but I honestly don't think you'd want to spend a whole week there unless all you want to do is lay on a beach. Better to visit and move on.

Cute Cloth Critters

I'm still slowly, oh so slowly, getting back to normal life. I started a post for ya'll but I don't have time to finish it before tomorrow so I'll just do a few photos for you for now. It's a theme; some of the animals our stateroom attendant Chun amused us with nightly. This was on Royal Caribbean but Carnival does it too. You just never get tired of having one of these little creatures greet you when you come back to your room at night. I wonder if they get tired of making them?









I didn't capture all of them. There was dog in the mix too but I can't recall the other 1 or 2 he did for us. I'm sure there is photographic evidence somewhere in Husband's digital camera. That bed, by the way? Short for a man as big as mine but soooo comfortable. I remember that about Carnival too. The beds make me feel like no one else has touched them, unlike most hotel beds. They are in my top three of all-time most comfortable and cozy beds ever! Makes you wanna book your vacation right now, huh?

Just wait! There's more...next time.

A Quick Cruise Primer

Well, it's been a busy time since we got home. I've been doing more cleaning and Mr. T has finally painted the foyer and stairway walls so I am happy. I got about half my to-do list done while the kids were away but they are on their way home as we read and time is up. School starts Thursday and the routine picks up again. So before I lost all cruise momentum, here's a little info for those of you who have never been on a cruise or if it's been a really long time. It's in no particular order:

1 - Have ID. Now you need ID to travel anyway, most likely a passport, but carry your driver's license too because some parts require a picture ID in order to get back on the Big Boat - as my Son calls it - and you may not want to carry your passport around with you.

2 - Cash. This is a huge one. Credit cards are fine on the ship and you may want to use one for your ship account. You can use more than one even and have 2 or more separate accounts running on the ship but if you want to use cash for that too, you can. Just tell them the limit so they can let you know and you won't end up oweing more than you have on you or can access quickly. On the islands, credit cards aren't going to be accepted for a lot of things like the taxis or the local vendors. Some yes, but not many. Plus, there is a lot of tipping going on so be aware. The baggage handlers at the airport; the various taxi drivers getting to and from the ship and on the islands taking you around; the people handling your bags before you get on the boat as well as the ones handling them afterward. And yes, you can carry your own stuff but letting a porter do it when we came home got us in a taxi in about 5 minutes while others were waiting. You also tip the people who served you on the boat - the head waiter, the waiter, the assistant waiter and your stateroom attendant. And you tip per person in the room. For us that come to $68.25 for each of us - Husband and I - following the tipping guidelines they gave. Trust me. These people treat you like royalty. They deserve it but you don't want to be shocked by that at the end of your trip.

3 - Know what you want to do. One friend who had never cruised before went the week I got back and she inspired this little addition. I know from experience that Carnival has a camp for kids, as does Royal Caribbean but those camps may really only appeal to the young. Some ships may not have enough activities to engage the older kids, although RC Adventure of the Seas does have the rock wall, ice skating, arcade, mini-golf, basketball court and inline skating, as well as teen hangout with TV and bar (noon-alcoholic, of course) and Johnny Rockets. You need to think to yourself - and be honest - do I need or want to take the kids but don't need or want to hang with them? Then get a cruise that will cater to the age of your child because they don't all do it. I don't want you to be miserable or the kid bored to tears. Cruisin' is fun!

4 - Travel light and shop at home. Or go as light as you can. Presently, you can take 2 suitcases per person for free and 1 carry on plus one personal bag like a purse or your computer case. After 2 bags, you pay $50 per bag. If the bag is overweight, you pay $25. So don't stuff it because you are going to buy stuff when you get to your destination(s) and it will add weight coming home. You may also want to think about what kind of stuff you'd want to buy as well so you can start looking at prices close to home. Frankly, the "deals" you find on the islands, in our case, may be about the same as what you can get at home. I don't care what the cruise shopping expert or island vendors tell you. Plus, often we found that things in he docking areas or at the airport were the same price or even cheaper than on the island itself. Mr. T. bought rum and it was dollars cheaper at the airport. You never know but you can scope it out early if you have an idea of what you want already.

OK, that's what stands out for me. When I get home, I'll have to post more pictures and that shall be the end of that. It's a new day, a new school year is in the air and and the fundraiser my business has created for a local high school is under way so that is where my attention now lies. No more vacations for me but another friend is going to Vegas next week. That may be oour next destination for next year.

Back to Reality

Yep, I'm back. And I brought a cold back with me, which doesn't surprise me with the air conditioning and warm weather I was running back and forth between. Plus I came back to the same rainy state I left! As a result I can't see very well right now so I'll blog later and leave you with this little view of the pier in St. Lucia taken from our stateroom balcony. Did I tell you I went cruisin'? Probably not. Beautiful huh?

Tried to blog day 1

Tried to blog day 1 but had issue with national access on cell. Photojournalism will have to wait until I get home. Boarding soon.

What is Wrong With This Picture?

The red is mine. The black is his. So why does my husband need more than I do? That is just him - and maybe it is a little bit of a metaphor too. Whatever. To the airport!

Untitled

I felt like publishing myself today. As I go through the boxes in my office, it is truly amazing the stuff I have forgotten about over the years. Found an old diary I wrote in from the ages of 11-13, though it wasn't a daily thing. Sporadic but enough to preserve some times I've never forgotten and clearly was influenced by. I also came across this poem I wrote back when I had my one child and we had an incident with the Department of Children and Families all because of a grabby 2-year-old girl. This poem arose from my anger at that time:

Duty-bound, you only did the practice you had learned.
I did not act as you expected and so I seemed unconcerned.
But you know nothing of the depth of this mother's love.
You know nothing of the life she'd give to save her Own.
You know nothing of the circle of compassion that surrounds us day and night.
You know nothing about our way, our dreams, our hopes, our frights.
You look to scientific means to guide your daily moves.
I look to higher authority and strive to act in love.
You listen for indications of all you have been taught.
I listen to my inner voice, the Spirit within my heart.
My Spirit speaks of mercy, my Spirit speaks of peace.
My Spirit dwells in others too whose counsel I sometimes seek.
My Spirit calms my clawing fears and gives me the ability.
To be the parent I dream of, the one I pray to be.
The patient one, the loving one, the one who's by his side,
the maternal one with spiritual bonds weaker only than hers with God.
I am so very proud to be the one chosen to raise this son.
This is a job for me and mine. You are not the one.
Instead maybe you should spend some time studying how things are supposed to be.
The father, the mother, and the child, God's familial trinity.

M.O.M. Blogger Monica - April 13, 2001

T Minus 2

With 2 days left before my departure, I am swamped at work trying to make sure no one is wanting before I leave and then I come home trying to stay on my cleaning schedule. I want the office done before I leave so I can come home and get into the kids' rooms.

I won't pack until Friday night so tonight I clean out 2 more boxes, read a bit, wash clothes and of course blog!

I should be making a list of what I want to take with me but honestly I don't want to overthink it. In case I haven't made this clear yet, I hate excess baggage in every sense of the word so too much planning means I'll bring too much and since I'll have to lug my own stuff, I need to keep it easy breezy. Besides, no one cares what you wear on these cruises. You don't know them so why should you care either? But, just for argument's sake, let's see:

Driver's license
Never leave home without it.



Passport
It was tenuous there for a moment when I found out too recently that there was a backlog, but it appeared right on my schedule; thick, brand-new, pages with a multi-colored sheen ready for stamping. Mr. T prefers his. Mr. T is just jealous.



Suncscreen
Ordered last Friday but not yet arrived. Here's hoping it gets here by this Friday. For some reason I found this on the shelves once years ago and haven't found it since. The FDA must have decided not to let it stay in the states but I love the stuff. Ombrelle by Loreal. Non-greasy, no scent, easy on sensitive skin, long-lasting, no sweating. What's not to love? Plus my skin ADORES tropical weather so put the two together and I can be out all day. I'll come back at least 2 shades darker I'm sure but so worth it.



Limited variety of shoes for variety of uses
Walking, hiking, lazing about looking cute. Yep. Think I'm covered there. If I can't wear it more than once, it doesn't go. You know. That excess baggage thing again. But no crocs, OK? Hate 'em. Yeah, yeah, they're super comfy. Yeah, yeah, lots of colors. Yeah, yeah I bought my daughter a pair because she needs something for the water and I could not find a pair of flips or flops to save our lives. They are just too much for me. Some smart person came up with them and lucky, lucky them. Wish it had been me! But Daughter having a pair is far enough.



Clothes
Clothes for romping. Clothes for repaste. Clothes that you can wear more than once and it won't be obvious. That's right. I said more. than. once. You wanna lug that stuff on a cruise, be my guest. But experience says you won't wear it all anyway. So you pack everything and then take half of it out. Very true. I've bought some stuff just for this vacation and those must come but there's only one suitcase going so pare it down!



Toiletries
Who came up with this word, anyway? Toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, lotion, chapstick. Check, check, check, check, super check. I've got to make sure anything I really love stays in the suitcase. The recent trip South showed me that we aren't quite lax yet on bringing these items onboard planes. My babies' juiceboxes and Son's ice pack were confiscated - but Daughter's icepack was not. Don't know why. I've got sensitive skin so my stuff ain't cheap. Though I wonder, why is under the plane any safer than in it?


Protection
Eh hem. Eh hem. I'm sorry, I keep having to clear my throat there. Gotta pick that up tomorrow because I'll run out in the middle of the trip otherwise. Not yet ready for Baby #3.

What else? What else? I'm sure something else will come to me soon. The cell phone. The charger. The camera. The like. I'll be ready. For now, I've got more clothes to wash and 2 more days to wait.

Putting It Into Practice

WARNING: This is no short post. You may want to read it in bits and pieces.

My time management book continues to be the center of my life right now. I read it cover to cover and just passed it on to someone who I hope will get as much out of it as I did. I started it a week ago. I think I read a huge Stephen King book faster once upon a time when I was not quite 20-something and living carefree at home, but with my life right now - sans kids for the next few weeks - finishing a book in a week is pretty good. I'm two chapters now into another one I'm reading with my writing group and I want to finish that before Saturday, so boy will I feel accomplished - and empty-handed - when it's time to board that plane!

This one was good though. Really good. And this is how I know it's timely and meant for me to pay attention. This is from the most recent newsletter from Valerie, the life coach I follow:

We can sometimes buy into the notion that following our passion is supposed to be fun and exciting, but living purposefully is journey of character-building and evolving into the person you always knew you could be. The process is not always fun, but it does bring us rich rewards. I took an honest look at my life. It wasn’t bad, but “not bad” was not the goal. Admittedly, my schedule was a bit unruly. I managed to get a lot done, but with very little structure in my life, I was feeling scattered and ineffective. While I was not excited about embracing more discipline, I knew a change was needed. What I discovered in the process is that discipline is not about taking things away, but about giving you what you truly want.

This week, I challenge you to take an honest look at an area of your life where you know you are not living up to your potential. Consider the five key areas of your life: Relationships, Health, Work, Finances and Spiritual Life. Perhaps you need to exercise discipline when it comes to eating junk food or watching television instead of going for a brisk walk. Perhaps you need to be more discipline by leaving the office on time so that you have more time for yourself, family and friends. Maybe the area where it’s time for more discipline is spending. It’s time to take control of your finances by increasing what you save each month, taking steps to increase what you make and decrease what you spend. You know the area of discipline is that’s calling you. Your next step is to embrace the change, then enjoy the reward.

So this book is very encouraging in terms of wrangling that elusive creature that most, if not all, mommies seek - balance. How do you have and do it all? Well, I know and I've said before that you can have it all - whatever that means for you - and you can do it all. It just can't be all done at once. You have a whole life to acquire "it all" and I believe that's how you have to take these things. Plan for it over the span of your years, assuming you shall have the full amount you should and even if you don't, you still would have led a full life if what you do every day is another step in that direction toward a fulfilling, meaningful life. You do nothing, you get nothing. You do one little thing and all your little things eventually add up to big ones so make those little changes and revel in the fact that you did something. Many people choose to talk about change but never make it because they are too busy, they will do it one day, or they are looking to make a huge change all at once. Your baby steps actually will put you ahead of the game.

So now I am done reading. Allow me to share what I am taking away from this book. That is to say, these are the things I started implementing as of the moment I read about it. I am doing my best not to think beyond today in doing these techniques because I am hoping to simply convince myself to do them every day where necessary and to one day look up and see I've been doing it long enough now for it to become a habit. I know it takes about 30 days to makes something a habit but instead of counting to 30 days, I'm just going to celebrate every day I can do what I want to and just see what happens.

So having said all that, this is what I liked and I am doing, in no particular order:

1 - Assessing my current state of balance
This little task has to do with assigning value to every one of Wetmore's 7 facets of life and then seeing just how balanced I think I am, as well as thinking about what kinds of improvements I need and want to make in order to get that balance. There is a chart in the book and the example shows that you want to rate everything from 1 to 10 but in an ideal world, you may not choose to rate everything a 10, or the highest value to you. I do.

Health - 4. I've been higher.
Family - 6. Kids absolutely need more of me.
Financial - 6 and that's an improvement over years before.
Intellectual - 5 mainly because I don't read as much as I used to.
Social - 5. The friends see me even less than the family but they all know the deal so that's good.
Professional - Now this depends. My job is a 9 for sure. If I didn't have to commute, it would be a 10! My business is a 7 because we still aren't as organized there as we should be. But we're working on that as I write. Things go off for the rest of this year and we'll at least be at an 8 and 8 is great! My writing is a 5 because I don't do it like I should. If I did, I'd have a shorter procrastination list. (See that later.)
Spiritual - 5 because I don't do anywhere near what I used to when I didn't have kids. But I am working on that right now. (See The Waking Hour.)

Now if I multiply my ideal by my real, a balanced life for me would be a 700. With these numbers - using an average in the professional areas - I'm at a 380 right now. Just past half way. Man I have a way to go! But part of making this assessment is also determining what changes I want to make now. For me, it's not about what I want to change overall, it's about what can I honestly do right now and feel good about because it's that small step in the right direction. That I can't spell out for you - too much information! - but the numbers will come out to a 510. Significant boost and the things I did weren't big but they will make a difference for me.

2 - Index cards
I like this one. It's simply a method of notetaking that allows you to transfer it anywhere at any time. Surely I can keep a notecard on me, huh? One of the things Don said to do was to write out birthdays and such on these cards, one for each month, and clip that to the appropriate month in your planner so you don't forget. Well I don't plan to have another written planner so my PDA will be set to remind me of things. Still, I like the note cards for the other stuff - hear about a book? Write it down. Pull out the list next time you're at the bookstore and wondering what to get. Someone say something good for a Christmas gift for the hubby? Write it down and when your shopping time comes, the list is already done. One thing I like was an Irritations list. Every time something bothers you - car making noise, clogged sink, etc. - but you can't do anything right then and there, write it on your irritations list. This is part of reducing the stress in your life because stress makes you do crazy things too.

3 - 7x7
This is where the baby steps come in. Don Wetmore says that in order to effect the change you seek, just do one little thing - an improvement - in each of the areas every day and you will have made thousands of little improvements in the course of a year. Now, my challenge is to find little improvements to make in every single area but right now if I can do something every day in even one of them, I'm good. Still, it's not easy figuring out what they should be. My little changes would be the same as my big ones most of the time but I am thinking about it. Notes to the kids and Mr. T. - used to do that a lot once upon a time. Gotta do that again more regularly. Compliments. Learning a word a day. Saving a dollar a day. Stocking up on something you use a lot to avoid running out at the wrong time. Choosing NOT to do something. All that counts.

4 - The Waking Hour
Ah. Here's the real challenge that I am finally going to try to accept. I am not a morning person in the least. Wetmore says that everyone takes about an hour to wake up, whether you choose to do it at home or at work, it takes about that long to leave the alpha, dreamlike state you are in when you awake and enter beta which you operate in otherwise. His thought is to get up an hour before you need to and start the day slowly. Let it set the tone for the day, which should be stress free and in as much control as one can be on this side of heaven. 15 minutes of sitting on the edge of your bed and just visualizing, he says. Then 15 minutes of some sort of inspirational reading. Then go outside and walk for 30 minutes and THEN start your day. Now, I've known about that whole waking up an hour early thing and I detested it. Still do hate the thought of being up early for anything EVER. However, for the past 2 days I did it. Now that first 15 is a wash. It takes me that long just to get myself together - sit up ALL the way, go the bathroom, throw on something to wear for that time - so I take advantage of the next 15 and read my Bible. Presto! An improvement in my spiritual life. Just like that. This alone will help me feel that closeness to God again that I too often let slip because I get caught up in life. (Sure glad He doesn't operate like I do!) Then off I go, walking around the neighborhood for 30 minutes. Chango! A benefit for my health AND spirit as I continue talking to God as well as visualize. (See? That first 15 minutes got back in there after all.) This might even be good for the social life if I finally start talking to the neighbors I don't know but so far they haven't been out. I've only spoken to other strangers on the street and the trash guys. I suspect when the kids come home, I'm going to have to push this time back from 6 to 5:30 so I can be home by 6:30 to start getting my slowpokes together. But I don't want to think about that. I'm living in the now. And for now, I come home feeling pretty awake.

5 - Keeping it All in Check
Part of keeping the balance is keeping the information straight. I started straightening up my office again. I still can't do what I need to because I still don't have what I need to get the stuff physically organized. But I'm going through boxes, tossing what I can and just making it neat to my eye. That tends to make me want to go deeper and I'll do what I need to in time. When you have a whole house that needs little things here and there, it adds up so some things have to wait. That was a huge sidetrack! Anyway, I came across a calendar I tried to deal with back in 2004. Too big. I have one in a purse at home right now that I've been carrying for the past year. Not too big but it's very presence bugs me. So that's where the previous PDA discussion came in. Still on my to-do list for next month. In addition, it's time to put a Family Calendar on the fridge so everyone knows where everyone else is as much as possible. I'll do both of these before the end of September and let you know where I stand in December.

6 - More reading
Having the chance to read when the kids are gone really makes me miss it. I'm hoping to make it a habit again so my goal is a book a month. That taps my need to improve the intellectual side of my life and it may help the professional from time to time too since I love to read business books that apply to what I do. I've got a little list going on already in my Amazon favorites and on my trusty index card too so I should be set for quite a while.


7 - What do I value?
I think I answered this question once a long time ago. Probably while I was in job transition. The idea is to know what matters to you so while you are doing other things, you can keep it all in perspective. Some things are simply a waste of your time if it's doesn't somehow enhance what matters to you. Getting a huge job with big money is great but if family is what you truly value, that job may actually take away from the time you need to spend with them and then is it really worth it? Probably not. My values are pretty simple I think: family, friends, faith and freedom to be me. My job is a blessing because it doesn't compromise any of that. Nothing I do does. But I need more time for the first three, that's for sure. Thus my current foray into self-evolution.

8 - Procrastinated Items
This is one thing I need to do and I am procrastinating about. Actually, not so much. It's just that I know I won't do what I need to do right now so why fake the funk? My mission? To write that darn thesis. That requires calling the college to find out if it's simply too late and I need to let it go and forever have to say that I completed some grad work when in fact I completed ALL the classes and just didn't write the book. And speaking of, I have my children's book and another adult-focused one to finish too. Hmm. I'm sensing a theme. I know I can do it because I have a NaNoWriMo award to prove it. I write for my job regularly. I can do it.

One day at a time.

PDA PDQ?

So as I read this book this week, I am just about ready to take the plunge. Managing my time better has always been something I wanted to do and never really got around to doing. I tend to go with the flow but I usually know where the flow is coming from first. I hate schedules with a passion so I don't like dictating to myself what I am going to do everyday and when I am going to do it. I do however, love To-Do lists and feel somewhat discombobulated without them. Hmm. Is that a little conflicting? Don't know. Anyway, the challenge, as I've written before, is to keep the list with me and to keep the other stuff I need on me too in order to stay somewhat organized - my calendar, my business idea notebook, my cell phone to remind me of things. The thing is, my job is the one place where I've managed to be pretty organized and it's time to carry that over to the rest of my life.

So Dr. Don Wetmore is the author of this book and I think I've mentioned him by name before too since he came a couple of times to one of my business groups to talk about time management. Now, just to talk about this book for a minute, I've heard the man talk so I know his style and this book is so him - his way of talking and his wit. His thoughtful examples. Plus, this book has pictures! Lots and lots of pictures. You can breeze through a chapter not only because he gets your attention but also because the little amount of text there actually is on a page so you just have to finish a chapter because really, it's just not that long. I took this with me while dropping off the kids and I read about 6 or 7 chapters in that time.

Now the man has some good thoughts about how to organize your time. Some of it I've heard from him before but re-reading it is good and makes me think about what I'll want to take away from this. One thing I did was assess where I stood on the 7 things that make up a person's life. (This book is about managing ALL your life. Don believes in life balance, as I do, so he is trying to help people figure out how to keep your various facets of life in balance. Those seven things, just so you can think about it too, are:

Family
Health
Professional
Intellectual
Social
Spiritual
Financial

Basically you rate these on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 meaning you are satisfied with this area of your life. You think about each area and consider all the things you want to accomplish in each area as well as assess how it really is right now. Wherever you are falling short, you may be thinking you don't have the time to deal with and that's why it's lacking, but Don thinks you do and so do I. It's about prioritizing and thinking about how one area affects another before you decide to do or not do something.

Well, this got me to thinking about ways to sync up my various calendars (mostly mental calendars) and I think I am about to do what I never wanted to do - go tech. The fact is I had already been thinking I need to put up a family calendar on the fridge. We've had too many mornings where Son needed something for school and we had to scramble to get it though we knew about it for a week. And Daughter will be in kindergarten in another year. So a calendar will kept the upcoming weeks before us and we can keep the peace.

I keep things in my cell phone, I write them down on to-do lists. I have an address book which is at home and never with me at work when I seem to address letters the most. I have my idea book for my business and I've lots of time when I thought about something I wanted to write and had no paper to write it down. The problem really is my disdain for carrying loads of things. I think I loathe that even more than tech gadgets, which is why i am now considering a PDA. I could, in theory, keep all the above mentioned stuff in one little streamlined place and that, along with my cell phone, I should, in theory, have no problem carrying around. Right now I don't imagine I'd want a Blackberry or mix of PDA and phone because I prefer flip phones and these portable computers don't flip. I don't think. Who knows. But I don't think I want to merge the two just yet. That would be going too far.

So do I want to go PDA? I'll look to buy one next month, if I decide it can do what I need it to. I'll still need to handwrite some things because after all I am a writer and I like the feel of pen to paper. But this search for easier and lighter feels eternal and I really want to bring it to rest now. It's time to sync up all my calendars and try to keep all my crap in one portable place. So if anyone has a PDA and wants to regale me about the virtues of this device, feel free. You can knock it too and tell me what works for you because I'm open to the discussion - this month. After then, I'm taking the plunge.

Waiting Games

This is what I am looking at right now and for the next hour and a half. I took the kids down yesterday, got to my parents house after midnight, took about a 3-hour nap and then my father drove me 3 hours north to Atlanta to catch a 9:33 am flight home. Orbitz called to say the flight was delayed 45 minutes so we stopped to eat. That plane sat on the runway so long they were about to give us jobs. When we got in, we then sat and waited for the gate people to show for so long we were ready to heave ho the apparatus ourselves. So my next plane left sans me. And here I sit book in hand, happy as a lark praising Jesus this did not happen yesterday when my bundles of energy, as one nice man put it, were in rare form. Well, now I get time to think. I think I will enjoy my book.