October Optimism

We've been busy - Bizzy Girl and I. Last Saturday we trekked back up to Hartford with our designing friend who I don't think I named for blogging purposes. I shall dub her Graphic Guru because she really is a great designer and co-creative force for part of my business. It's good to be surrounded by like minds.

The three of us have given Hartford much play lately. (And if you've been to Hartford, you'll know that's saying a lot. It can be a depressing sight.) Twice last month we drove up for the Get Motivated Seminar and the Women's Expo, which I still have to tell you more about. Bizzy Girl went back there later on for a 2-day financial workshop precipitated by the seminar. And this past weekend was a website seminar also the result of said seminar. We have truly been riding the wave of that seminar, let me tell you.

We went. We listened. We critiqued with discriminating ears because we have MUCH experience in websites and how they should operate at best, as well as the cost to get them done. We were promised free websites just for going but once we saw all we could get - the analyzing features that are available - we left there with paid sites, more enthusiasm than ever and me? I was slightly cringing because I knew the work ahead. I had done much of it before. But I knew this time we had Bizzy Girl's sister as long-distance help in getting the site together. We also knew the value of what we were getting and now going to be able to do (and the crazy good price we got on it). It's worth the time and effort it's going to take to get this ball rolling.

Last week, our young photographer showed us the product shots she did and they are fantastic. She's making adjustments to some of them and I can't wait to see the finished products. It won't be easy implementing the vision I have for the site but it WILL happen. Hopefully before 2010 but a launch of Jan. 1, 2010 is a goal worth setting. I'm going to be busy for the rest of this year.

October is proving to be interesting.

• I am heavily into my interviews for my book. (76 more mommies needed please!)
• I am heavily into the website redesign, WITH some new photos awaiting upload. (Nope. Not gonna Facebook those. You'll have to wait!)
• I am restructuring my and the kids' life insurance policies after discovering they are not going to do what I wanted them to do and that is going to save me money I can now reinvest in my kids' 529 plans as well as my Roth IRA. (My financial adviser is going to love me.)
• I am, consequently, killing a good percentage of debt and hopefully shifting that in a way that will lift a load for good and finally allow me to focus more on today and tomorrow with just a slight nod to yesterday as I get rid of it faster than expected.
• This week, we'll be reassessing the business itself and getting a clearer plan in place with a little help from an expert.
• And at the end of the month, 2 days of training on how to effectively use all the tools our website offers and really make it the success it's meant to be.

I'm feeling pretty good about the work ahead and I think I may even look into 1 or 2 additional streams of income as I work toward my ultimate goal - freedom to be me. I'm 39 later this year. 40 is coming. I am blessed to still love my job but I want to be emancipated before too long. There is much work ahead but this time last month, it was just a long-standing vision. Now it's a vision with an evolving plan of action. It feels good.

You want something different? Do something different.

Sigh of the Times

So my friend says, "Blog already!" Well, not those words precisely but close enough. It's not that I have nothing to say. It's that I have no time to say it. My job has been INSANE lately but we have those times. Times of still waters and times when it's all hands on deck, every man and woman doing everything that needs to be done. For at least two solid weeks I could think of nothing but all the stuff I had to do at work and I'd go home wishing I could do some more from home but knowing I needed to chill.

What I NEED is a laptop, much like the one Mr. T. once bought and promptly sold to the first person who asked him if he'd be willing. The freedom of the laptop is that when I get home tired, I just want to sit and let the TV watch me while I maybe work on something for the project we're doing for my business or maybe while I edit some columns to go on the website at my job. What I don't want to do is go all the way back downstairs to sit on my stool and work my way through my email and catch up on a few things. I'd be willing to do that in my bed right before I fell asleep though. So I need a laptop. Again.

But the issue here was time and time is money, right? I have no time, so what does that mean? Yep, not enough money either and I'm about sick of it. As I told said friend, we have money to survive. What we need is money to live. Cub scouts cost. Halloween costumes cost. New earrings for my newly pierced 4-year-old cost. (Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't blog about it. She hounded me and hounded me and I knew she didn't know what she was in for but I didn't want to put fear in her either so I gave in. She tried to jump out of the chair after the first one went in. It took 10 minutes to talk her into the second hole and now she is over the moon.) Anyway, she's turning 5 soon and birthday parties cost. My car REALLY needs help on all fronts. But that costs. Basically, I've been maintaining but it's time to get ahead.

So I thought, what can I do? The business can't help right now. We have 2 FANTASTIC new children's puzzles in the works and when they are done, I will share that with you all as I look for stores to take a chance on them. We do have our printer taking a chance on our holiday cards in his highly trafficked store, though, and we still have the first store we were in, so the potential exposure IS there. We just have to work them - after the artwork is finally done. It's taking longer than I hoped but I anticipate something awesome because both of these women are dynamic artists. The puzzles are election related, however, thus the time concern.

So I keep thinking, what can I do? I can't work outside the home more than I already do. I can't do anything that will require more gas to get there, you know? But I can edit and I can write and that has to be enough. But I am working on my own book and I don't write as much as I'd like for my job due to the millions of other things that need to be done, but I write for them nonetheless. So do I want a third writing job? Not really. Copy editing? A form of writing and very time consuming but doable. You know what's even more doable? Proofreading. Haven't done it since I was temping after I got out of college but I do have that weird gene one has to have to even like this kind of work. I didn't know I had it until after college but I suppose it was like having a disease and just not having the diagnosis until years later. This stuff is in my blood somehow so this is what I do.

I went looking for a proofreading company I can deal with virtually. Took no time to find one but now I had to go looking for my resume again. I updated it 3 years ago after I had been working my new job for a bit but I hadn't done it since. I had different versions for different positions so I had to find the right, well-edited one so I wouldn't have to worry about typos. Then I had to update it.

This morning I sent it off to the guy and I was honest in the cover letter because honesty works for me. Basically, I can do what he's looking for in an editor and proofreader. I can use the programs he wants the person to be able to use. There is one program I don't have or use because I never needed to but I told him if I have just cause, I will buy it and use it. No big deal.

No typos in the email and off it went. It must have taken him 5 minutes to respond. Cool. He was impressed. A far cry from the days when I first started and just needed a chance to get started. I needed a job to get experience but first you had to have experience to get a job. At last, experience is no longer an issue. He sent the preliminary test and it sits waiting for me. I glanced at it and the number of errors in it is making me jumpy but you can't do these things quickly. I intend to take all weekend.

If I make it through this part, there are THREE MORE PARTS, they say. Yikes! Am I sure I don't want to go back to SAT Prep teaching? Naw. Who has time to get re-trained and I don't want to drive all over the state anyway. I want to be with my kids as much as I can. They are so grown. Son has his friends he likes to go see and thankfully those boys' mothers adore him and welcome him when he comes. Daughter is sad thinking Son doesn't have time for her anymore. "He's MY best friend!" she cried recently. I explained that Son had made those friends in kindergarten and now that she was in kindergarten, she'd make her own friends too. "He's not moving out, you know. You'll always have each other." In the meanwhile, she comes home and tells me about all the kids she gives turns to on the schoolbus so they can sit next to her.

My children are social and I don't want to think about what their social lives are going to cost me over the years. I've got my own friends though and it costs to hang out, you know? But hang out with them is what I like to do. And my co-workers have joined that group since just about every wall that SHOULD be up, went down over the past few months. I won't even go into the stuff we've shared - with each other AND our boss! - but I am thankful to work with people I like and can relate to. Of course that's more people to do stuff with (we're going shooting next month. More later.) and that requires disposable funds.

I can't think about the economy or continue to watch my retirement going down in huge chunks like it is right now. I just trust things will work out in the end and I do thank God I have some more time ahead of me for things to rebound. In the meanwhile, I'm praying this at-home stuff works out and that somehow I'll find time for that and puzzles and my own writing and my own life.

This is my sigh of the times.

Join The Club?

So, my other post has to wait to go up. In the meanwhile, let me tell you Son's latest thing. Son - the bane of my bank account. The new Cub Scout who loves Transformers and Pokemon and is as silly as they come. Son. What's Son's newest thing? Club Penguin. Been here? Heard of it? I hadn't either until last night.

Son went to his friend's house after school yesterday for a play date. Aside: Such a silly term but time's have changed. You've got to make appointments to see your friends now. I guess there is no more knocking on the door. "Can Billy come out and play?" But in this case, Son and Son's Friend Z don't live within walking distance - at least not for them just yet. Too young.

So at Z's house, Son discovers Club Penguin and has not been able to stop talking since. "It's like the real world only it's not!"

When I came home last night...

"Mommy! Come here! I need you to name my penguin."

"What?"

"My penguin. Z and I were playing online and we went to Club Penguin. So now I need a name but every time we pick a name, it's not available."

Husband: "I keep trying and nothing is available."

Of course I still don't know what they are talking about but I am more patient than normal because I know Son is also waiting on me to make 3D glasses with him online for some reason I have yet to find out, but he has not bugged me in 2 days.

So this club is for penguins and they have their own world and Son needs to name his so he can get in there and see his friends but every name is taken.

"Oh. Well that happens all the time with things like these. You're probably going to have to add a number."

"Oh please! I need a name for my black penguin. And you're so good at these things. You thought of the pop up book. I never would have thought of that. You have good ideas."

Flatterer.

"How about ------?"

We try it. A no go. We try his first choice again and other options, all to no avail.

"How about ------?" he says.

It's available. ------ it is.

Now, I would tell you the names but I have to be a little cautious here, don't you think? I already told you the club. I can't put a name to my little penguin, even if it is a fake name. But he loves it and now I find out that there is a membership. Oooooffff course there is! Son asks me about it this morning but I'm thinking he's already a member. I asked a co-worker who also has a 7 y.o. son if she knows about this. Of course she does. So there's a lot you can't do if you aren't a member but I'm not up for more money going out right now - birthday parties, school trips, cub scout fundraiser, school fundraisers, book orders, unexpected doctor visits, Daughter's birthday to come - I'm being nickle and dimed as it is! Not one more thing, please!

Sigh. Next paycheck coming up soon. One more monthly bill. Oh well. See you at the Club!

Time to Play Catch Up!

A Good Word
First of all, I'd like to mention that Kerri gave me a little press over here at Aisle Dash, a wedding blog on AOL. Thanks, Kerri! Hopefully it will send traffic our way and better yet - business!

Failing the Test?
Speaking of business, the fundraiser is over as of today at the high school where we are testing this. We are crossing our fingers it's a significant amount of puzzle sets sold because the class adviser never kicked this thing off right resulting in way too few people even hearing about it. So some kids are selling but not nearly as many as we had hoped - we think. We'll see. Time to round up a new school and this time we'll make sure they kick it off right or they let us do it ourselves. On the plus side, we do have a major organization that wants to talk to our marketing rep about doing this too, as well as a PR agency that responded to a cold email she sent out in response to something she saw in the newspaper. Hopefully they'll both join the team!

Mo' Money!
In other news, children cost a ton of money! OK. This is no news flash for those of you who have them. The amount of things I have had to do for my kids lately is making me wish I had a part-time job so I can at least make money for ME! Fundraisers, cub scout uniform, birthday party necessities...it's getting insane. But that is the point of my business isn't it? To make it profitable enough to become a good side gig until it can become the real deal? Still, I am starting to feel like I will never catch up to their needs and wants and I am NOT an overindulgent parent. I just like to get them what they want from time to time because good kids like mine deserve that and generally speaking I like providing for them as much as I can. So this has to be my motivation. I have to get things into gear for all our sakes. It's not like we're not trying but we really need to do more.

Awaking the Muse
I'm writing again at last. Walking in the mornings is proving good for my creativity - as well as all the writing I've had to do for work lately, among other things. It's really rough and I'm only anxious to get a first draft for the sake of my crit group. But I'm glad something else is trying to come forth. Maybe it will get me back into submitting some other stuff again. But we've been talking about finding agents lately and I would love that. Get an agent or self-publish. I'm not sure I have the time or patience for anything else. My thing is doing it yourself is the only way to ensure things get done.

Speaking of Writing
I'm CONSIDERING NaNo again this year and I ain't got the time for it AT ALL. Somebody please talk me out of it! Right now I'm sleep because I've been out late every night this week for business meetings, cub scouts or silliness with co-workers. The delirium probably has me talking about NaNo again. I can't do it.

I can't.

I....might.

My Version of "Footprints"

It's amazing how little time and money there is in my life when there is such an overwhelming need for them both, whether I want there to be or not. We won't go off on the money tangent right now. I'm just sick of every freaking payday lately being a day of infusing money into the latest must-pay-yesterday, must-have-this-item-today situation thereby setting my savings plans and desire to occasionally get some "wants" further and further on the proverbial back burner.

And time? Well, as usual, if I only had to work and deal with family, then I'd be set. But when you need to make time for a business and friends and reading and writing and exercise and sleep...you get the picture. It's frustrating but I've been determined to keep to my plan to reign in my time a little better and literally I know it all starts with one little step. So here's my little bit of encouragement for YOU all today with the little bit of time I am stealing from continuing to work on one of 3 huge projects at my job and a bunch of smaller-but-no-less-important ones.

Simply put - Change for the better is closer than you think.

I had a shorter version of that phrase as my message once this week on my IM window. A friend IM'd.

"What's closer than you think?"

"Any change you want to make!"

I explained to her that my experience has been that when I do something for a while and then stop, I hate it. I feel guilty. I know I need to start it up again but before long it's been a month, 6 months, a year and now I'm so far gone I just don't see how I'll ever get back. But when I resolve to go back, I simply turn around and so far it has always been quicker to get back than I thought it would be and I rejoice in the knowledge of that.

"Ah! I needed to know that!" she said.

And so I was happy to give that to someone that day.

In my case, God and I were a little too distant for my taste. I allowed life to get in the way and I know He knows that's to be expected when you are in my line of work - wife and mother - but that doesn't make it any better because most times He is the only one who truly understands when no one else does but I hate to bug Him with the bad stuff when I haven't been just chillin' with Him for the heck of it. (And before anyone gets a little stressed by what I just said or suddenly feels bound up by some religiosity that ingrained in them, know this. God WILL NOT ignore you for ignoring Him. He's bigger than that. Literally. So speak up and let Him surprise you.)

Always I'm promising to start spending time with Him again, reading my Bible - outside of church - for the relationship of it. But it never quite happens. My recent time management work has brought Him back to the forefront as well as my need to do any kind of exercise and to save something, anything, every single day.

So I save. Daily. And recently I needed it so I'm almost wiped out again but I had it. Good feeling.

And for now I walk in the mornings. I've been amazed how I've had the desire to get up and do it. I missed it. Used to do it all the time on my treadmill but my treadmill continues to stay at MIL's house for now so I walk outside for that "Waking Hour" Don Wetmore encourages. Before long I felt myself longing to walk a little longer, a little further and it came back to me how I used to do that and get a little high from it. I'll have to get my treadmill back though for those times when going outside that morning just can't happen.

While I walk, when I remember to think - because this is one time I can actually NOT think of a single thing and be perfectly content - I talk to God and we don't actually "stroll" together because I do walk at a good clip. But He keeps up! Imagine that! And we talk - yes, out loud. I don't really care how crazy I look at 5:45 in the morning - and despite the lack of time and seemingly insufficient funds, I know I am quite blessed so I just thank Him for being Him and for all the grace and peace in my life and for reminding me of something He has often reminded me of: No matter how far away you get from Him or from a regular fitness routine or from saving regularly or from spending quality time with family, etc., it's just a matter of stopping and going back to that forgotten but important aspect of your life and suddenly you will be right back there, as safe as always. I know for a fact that the miles you accidentally put between yourself and God can be eradicated in an instant just by turning around. You take one step, He takes the rest. I believe wholeheartedly that applies to all the other lapsed things as well.

So I take comfort and choose to share that change, life improvements, renewed relationships are all closer than you think. It's simply a matter of choosing to embrace them again.

Livin' My Life Like It's Golden

That's me. That's why it's been an INSANE amount of time since I last posted! But I still love you all. Really! I am always amazed by the amount of time I take to do the things I do. When did I last post? Great day! May 15th? Exactly two weeks ago? Has it been THAT long? And what do I have to show for it?

Let's see.

1 - A huge disagreement with Mr. T. that resulted in my not talking to him for about 2 days so that I wouldn't go off any more than I already had. (I wrote about it. I'll re-read it and probably post it since I do write about marriage but what I DO NOT seek to do is scare the singles. Marriage is work and that's all there is to it.)

2 - A huge deal for my business that has had my team and I running at high speed for these past few weeks. Plus, I've been working on a couple of very important jobs for friends of mine - one of whom is getting married - so it's been great in that way. I love to see new puzzles come to life.

3 - A major change in the host for our website. The old people, who were only our people for about 8 months, had to go. Just like in a good marriage, communication in a business relationship is essential and we just weren't talking the same language. Our new people are very promising because one of them is a former co-worker whose work I trust. We're very excited about it. For now, the flash created by the former developers is running but it's inaccurate - another reason to make the change.

4 - I switched to my summer hair. Oh sweet twists. How I missed thee! (Picture to come later.)

5 - I had jury duty last Friday and for the first time ever got out by 10:30 a.m. God gave me a reprieve. He knew I needed a real break and the last THREE times I served I stayed all day just to go home without being picked to serve. Some of you may think I got off but darn it, if I'm going to go anyway, pick me! Pick ME! But I think they have called on me way too often now so it's time to pay close attention. Let this be a notice to myself that I SERVED JURY DUTY ON MAY 25, 2007 and therefore, if I am called again before May 25, 2010, they are harassing me!

6 - Mr. T. and I went to see Son in not one but TWO school productions in the same month and that, like jury duty four times, is above and beyond. The sacrifice? Well, the first one was a 2 1/2 hour production. It had 34 acts, Oh yes, I said 34. Son was in Act 1. That's it. But we stayed for the rest. Aren't we good? Oh yes we are! But it was cute, really. The second show was only about an hour but it was a 5th and 6th grade concert. Son, NOT a 5th or 6th grader, was one of the kids to hold up a sign for the song they sang from The Sound of Music. You know the one. "Do, a deer, a fe-male deer..." He held up "SO" nice and tall. That's my baby. He sang along and came to sit with us when he was done. And yes, we stayed for the whole thing. Has anybody seen my badge of courage?

7 - Mr. T and I also got a little music of the adult variety when we went to see Earth, Wind and Fire in concert at Mohegan Sun. We grooved that night. I learned EWF is one year younger than I am and I am 36. I knew I grew up on the stuff but I had no idea just how intertwined EWF and I were. I only know that the music of the 70's is my father's music and the 80's, of course, is my era and that is the stuff I continue to love more than the music of today. I think it's the feeling that goes along with it, of a peaceful time when all was taken care of and I could really just exist. It was very cool.

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. Work at my job, work at home, plan for kids' summer vacation - and mine. You know. Life.

And now, I need a little ice cream.

A Fiscal Union

Today my money got married to my husband's money. January 8, 2007. What a great anniversary date.

They've been living together for quite awhile but after the house came along, it was decided that they really need to be living in the same bank account. At least part of it - the part that takes care of the things that take care of all of us. The other part that takes care of me alone continues to live the single life and is happily out there multiplying and gaining dividends.

Mr. T and I have been married for 5 years and even though we got money as wedding gifts, the most we did then was open a joint CD. That ended up paying a crazy tax bill we did not expect our first year because we were still figuring out how to declare ourselves at our individual jobs for the maximum benefit of us all. Mr. T. has always been great with his money and mine was off track for awhile when I first got out of college, then it got back into the black - until I got married.

If you are planning to get married and don't know this already, let me assure you, 2 incomes does not necessarily an overflowing bank account make. Somehow you end up with less. I suppose in our case it was because the rent went up when Mr. T. moved into my apartment. Utilities rise with more adults in a home. Things happen in marriage that don't seem to have alone. It took another couple of years to get the money back on track again and we've reached a place where I suppose we finally trust each other financially now that we've lived it as opposed to watched it from afar all the years before.

So we called my banker and did everything on the phone and via mail and presto! What he and I have joined together, let no foolish behavior put asunder.

It takes awhile to get on one accord with someone. I had a friend recently ask me about this because she's talking marriage with her boyfriend. I told her the truth about how we've done it so far. She's a smart one. I'm sure she'll do better than I did. After all she bought a condo in her 20s and I think that's a smart move. And yes, though I am a Christian and don't necessarily believe in jumping to divorce when things get hard, I also don't believe it necessary to tie up all your money together, if only because do you really want to have to discuss EVERY little move you make with your partner because the money is coming from a joint account?

Frankly, things happen, even in the best of marriages. I've seen what can happen when women put all their money in their man's hands and act like they no longer need to worry. I think THAT is foolish. I have my own, as does he, and now we'll have one together because it just makes sense since we're both contributing to the household. We're beneficiaries in the places that don't have both our names and now that we've found a lawyer we both like, we'll get the wills squared away, which we should have been done when the first child came along. But it's taken 5 years to get this far.

I'd say our money has had a really great courtship, especially since my credit has had the chance to get back where it should be and should be as perfect as his in another year. We're looking forward to that perfection making it possible to build the next house, as we wanted to do all along. Maybe even to buy another one or two to help finance the kids' futures.

No matter how wonderful your pre-marital relationship may be, I believe once you do marry, it takes time to get in sync with someone on many if not all levels, and it's nice that we've finally reached that place.