Buying Black

I don't know if you know about Maggie and John Anderson. They are the Chicago couple who have dedicated their money to black-owned businesses for this entire year. It is called The Empowerment Experiment and they are half-way through. I knew about them some time ago but I wasn't keeping close track. However, the idea of keeping black money circulating within black businesses is as ingrained in me as buying American as much as possible or recycling. The couple came back to mind yesterday on the CBS Early Show, probably because it's really close to August, which is Black Business Month according to @ajlovesya over on Twitter and that one was one I didn't know about.

If you missed them on the show yesterday, here's the video, which will hopefully stay available for awhile:


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Now, the one thing Maggie Anderson didn't say in response to Larry Elder that I would have said? "Are you freakin' kidding me?" I mean really. If anyone is naive enough to think that Jews don't spend with Jews and Asians don't spend with Asians and Hispanics don't spend with Hispanics then please, go off to some mountaintop to live alone with your ignorance. Of course they do! And no one is calling it racism when they do. They simply understand the value of culture and supporting their own. I am certain many of them and others of different groups at a minimum look to do business with their own first. Of course they do! It's like choosing someone over your own family to not do it. The difference is they may not make a public announcement they are doing it like the Andersons have and so no one calls them on it. Women are publicly supporting women, as we should and as I do, but I haven't heard cries of sexism. What pisses me off is when black people choose to do something others have been doing for a lifetime, suddenly we are being racist, sexist, elitist, whatever.

Here's the thing: What the Andersons are doing is very difficult. The fact is black-owned businesses are not one every corner. Hair dressers and barbers, funeral homes, churches - those are black-owned/run in abundance. Most other businesses/institutions are not. The Andersons at least have a black-owned grocery store in the vicinity. If there is one in CT, I couldn't tell you where it is. So you see, it's a big, not-so-cheap thing to do this experiment. A very big thing. And to do it is not to say they choose to sacrifice quality or customer service or anything a good business should have. Instead, I'll bet you it forces some black businesses who aren't already operating that way to get their acts straight because they are getting attention and it's good for business.

Bizzy Girl and I absolutely seek to work with our own as much as possible. In some places we've been successful. In other places, it didn't work out. So we look until we find the people - of any race - who we feel we can work with. We happily work with a variety of people but in our business and well as in our personal lives, when choosing who you will associate with in any manner, there is an order and you can't tell me it's not the same for everyone - black, Christian and female are top three for us and this order can change. Barring those categories, we want to work with American companies and keep things as close to home as we can. Family friendly matters to us as well. It's not unheard of to be selective in this manner, so why try to make it sound like the Andersons are doing something that will divide people?

As I know I've said in the past, the black race is a fractured, wounded group. We must uplift each other whenever we can. We are so far removed from the greatness we hail from that even ancestral memory is lacking and getting back that former glory must be an intentional action. We have a black president now to help remind us of this. We have people like George Fraser who have been pushing for years for us to understand the power within ourselves, advocating multiple streams of income and business ownership. The Andersons are just one of many people doing what has been the mission for as long as I can remember. Instead of criticizing this - especially black people. Come on now, black people, don't choose to malign your own. - we can choose to celebrate this not just as a race. Every race can choose to uplift their own and we can also choose to uplift each other as Americans. No one needs to be excluded. This is simply work on self that needs to be done. You know how they say you can't love others until you first learn to love yourself? Charity begins at home? That is what this is and there is no reason to apologize for it.

If you have not yet watched the CNBC special Black in America Part 2 (I don't think you can see it online yet), it would behoove you to do so and remember the power of the people.

Justice for Jena

The nonsense continues. As a person of color who blogs and writes and interacts with all sorts of people, I must help spread the word. Like the Paris, Texas incident (she is finally free now, by the way) and of course Imus, we see that racial disparity continues to rear its ugly head in a world where we should be more united by the fact that a lot of world would love to see us ALL demolished. But no, we still deal with places like Jena, Louisiana, which aggravates the heck out of me not just because my people of color are involved but because half of my blood relatives are Louisianians so I think of what they must sometimes face as residents there. A lot of this crap is taking place in my beloved South and that hurts too. This is life - still.

I've been listening to the buzz (and reading the mass emails) all week. Many supporters of the Jena 6 are going down there. Those of us who want to show solidarity are asked to wear black on Sept. 20th which is when one of the young men is supposed to go to court. It amazes me how many of the officials in Jena supposedly can't see how this is a racial issue. Maybe their hands and minds are tied by the offices they hold. Maybe in private they know the deal. But hanging nooses on a tree and claiming that tree (now cut down) to be "white only" should be enough to bring those private beliefs to light. The haters certainly have.

And oh, let me put it in perspective for you. These boys have the same bond (some higher!) as these 6 ignorant ********. Wonder what they'll get for torturing this woman? Wonder if she'll ever sleep again.

Only God can serve the true justice that in necessary in all these cases and I hope many of the family members get to be there when it happens, however it happens. But we stay tuned to hopefully hear these black boys with no records will not spend 22 years of their lives (down from the original 100 - not a misprint) in jail. Getting mad. Gotta go now.

Turning On The Light

There's a meme going on and thanks to Kerri, I am honored to be a part of it....but not just yet.

The plan was to come home and do my version of the meme after I ate and got a free moment. But first I had to take Son to the library to return a couple of books he read and to take out a couple of others that are going to help us with his project.

He is writing a book for his family project for the summer literacy program he is in. This is his second year. Last year we had to do a scrapbook. I am creative but I hate scrapbooks. This year we have to write a book. More up my alley.

The project is due on the 23rd, which is the last week of his program. "You don't have a lot of time!" you say. You are right. There is just never enough time. But I am much more comfortable with where we are this time around than where we were last year this time - nowhere, with me dreading even starting it.

Nope. Yesterday I had Son think of what kind of story he wants to tell. He has his main character facing a test in school so he builds a time machine to go back in time to talk to the people who can tell him directly what their time was like and he can come back and ace the test.

The criteria for the book is simple - well, maybe not to him but that's why we do this as a family. For his grade level (first grade as of this past year) he has to have a book with:

an about the author page
a dedication page
a preface/introduction
8 - 10 pages with a picture on each page
up to 3 sentences per page, about 150 words or so total

The story is to be historical fiction and will incorporate some understanding about the Underground Railroad and/or the Civil Rights Movement because this is the theme for the program this year - understanding where we've been in order to assess where we are and where we are going and how it relates to them as the individuals they are.

Son has ME for a mother so his book will probably be at least 2nd grade level since the outline we created showed that we would be doing at least a 15-page story, probably a little more.

We went to the library to get books I had looked up on scientists because my thought was to give the two other characters from the past times the same scientific inclination as the main character, thus making a connection that runs through the story. Hey, I'm proud of his little story. All the kids like science. The slave boy lives in Cincinnati (home of the Underground Railroad Museum which the kids will be visiting this weekend) and he likes to watch the stars ever since he followed the North Star to freedom, so astronomy would be his racket - if only he could read. The girl likes bugs. She is also from Cincinnati during the time of real-life African-American scientist, George Carruthers, who built his own telescope at the age of nine and went on to invent a special camera that made a trip to the moon on Apollo 16. The girl would study bugs and such in college - if she ever gets the right to go to the schools that teach it. The MC was a boy named Jake but Son has his own scientific interests so I had him rechristen the character by his own name in order to really bring him to life for my young writer and just maybe get him to see that he could indeed do and be the very things he is writing about.

We sat on the bed in his bedroom, occasionally chasing out Daughter who was only interested in playing with Son's toys and trying to pester him as all little sisters do. He has to do up to 10 pages but I knew that would be limiting.

"Page One." Son writes and we give the summary of that page.

"Page Two." Son writes more as I tell him how to spell the big words mixed in with his little ones.

"Page Four. Let's have Main Character meet...what shall her name be?"

"Umm, Katie?"

"Katie. Katie lives during the Civil Rights time." We begin to write and realize we intended to go further back to the Underground Railroad time first.

"Wait," I tell him. "Erase that four. We'll come back to it. Skip a line and write Page Five. This is where MC will meet the little slave boy first. What shall his name be?"

"Ummm. Cody?"

"No, baby. During slavery time you would not have found a little boy named Cody."

"Why not? Why didn't you name me Cody? I like that name!"

I roll my eyes. "Ugh. I don't. Why would I name you that? Your name is perfect and beautiful. Besides, Cody was not a name for that era. There are names that you just won't find during every time period and Cody was not a slavery time name."

We go on as I think out loud about what the character, now named Zeke, would be doing with and saying to the MC.

"Let's let him go back to his house for hot chocolate!" Son rolls on his bed, giddy and amused by his own 7-year-old wit. I sigh, standing in the kitchen doorway, perpendicular to his own, watching his mirth and thinking of how to explain this between my mouthfuls of spaghetti.

"Son, he can't go back to his house for hot chocolate."

"Why?"

"This was a time of slavery. Zeke is a former slave who took the Underground Railroad to freedom. You, as the character, are in HIS time. This is called historical fiction because you are basing a made up story in a real time period. YOU are from the present where you have a home and a room of your own, learning what you please and being free. Zeke's family is still hiding out from the possibility someone will take them back to the plantation they escaped from. If someone saw Zeke talking to you and heard you, they would hear your intelligence and in Zeke's time, that could get you killed. He can't take you home. It would be a danger to him and his family and even if he did, and someone found out, it could get them killed and you."

Son sits on the edge of his bed, his mouth slightly open, the light going on. He shakes his head no.

"No? No what?"

"It's not me."

"Huh?"

"It's not me." I hear him.

"No, it's not YOU, it's You-the-MC you, not You-the-real-boy. No one is going to kill YOU. This is what your MC is facing. These are the times Zeke lives in."

Son's light mood falters a bit. Over the past few weeks he has been learning about the Underground Railroad and The Civil Rights Movement. What he cannot grasp yet is that they are only about 100 years apart - 1850's-1860's vs 1950's-1960's. He has been learning there have been places blacks could not go and things they could not do. He is beginning to feel some the burden carried by each adult before him who had their own dawning of realization and learned the harsh truth that they would have to someday pass on to their own offspring. It is reinforced as we finish the outline, 2 hours later, and I then call my parents so they can give him a little more Civil Right era background and explain to him their own civil rights experiences because see? It was not that long ago that equality was won - partially, as my father explained.

"What do you mean?" Son asked. But my father chose not to go there. "Let's just say it was a time when we could begin to get decent jobs."

My mother explained about being able to sit anywhere she wanted on the bus. "I was just a girl then but there was a store we would go to to buy dresses and it had a restaurant for white people and a separate section for black people. Now I could go anywhere I wanted."

Of course Son doesn't fully get it right now. When the silliness is temporarily silenced and he really hears the stories, the incredulity takes over and he can barely manage to picture how this happened to people who are still alive today. Out of the blue he may say, "once, black people couldn't go anywhere they wanted and they couldn't ride just anywhere on the bus because it was the law."

He is learning and it's not all pleasant but what the program and I hope to have him realize is that not one of us has made it this far on our own power. He is free to get those books from the library and learn in his school and dream of being an astronaut because of the fights and sometimes deaths of the ones who came before us. And not all of them are in the distant past. It was 1920 before ALL women had the right to vote. It was 44 years later before ALL blacks could freely vote too. It was 6 years after that when I was born and it was tonight that my father still called it, "partial freedom."

Son will come to his own understanding one day, though my charge as a black mother and a Christian, is to help him channel any rage he feels into the promise that God has given him in and for his life so that he can experience the full freedom and joy he was meant to feel, all while grounding him in the reality that is the world we live in. It's a tall order. But I am a believer that God knows what you can handle and He knew I couldn't handle raising twins. He knew I couldn't handle a chronic illness greater then the eczema I often battle. But He must have thought I had what was needed to handle the black experience in America. Not necessarily the worst of it, but bearing the brunt of the result of it.

When that light went on in Son's head as he declined to be linked to his own self-named character who could have been killed with his slave friend just for being himself, I just hope it didn't turn out some other light that I want him to keep on. His book has a little ways to go and there is much to learn in the process to convey everything we wrote in the outline. But I am proud of my little writer and frankly I am proud we are part of this legacy of struggle and strength. It is my job to make him proud too.

Living Legends

How did I miss this award-winning gentleman, Kevin Clash?



My kids were only surprised that a kid wasn't the one doing this voice but I, like a lot of people, I'd bet, was thrilled to find this out when I was reading Jet magazine recently:



And then there is this young brother, Barrington Irving.



He is the first young, African-American male to fly around the world solo. He has a blog of his own so you can read about his adventures there.

And now I am starting to think I need to cut these pictures out and make a book for my babies to have as they get older and start to think about what they can do and want to do. In a way, it's a shame we can't just praise them for their accomplishments or even let people like Kevin stay in the background so the fantasy stays intact. But that is not the world we live in. When we as black people break the mold, go against stereotype and achieve in these ways, we may not toot our own horn but someone should, if only for the sake of all children who are still looking for their place in the world. Same goes for any "minority" including women. I always tell my own brood that they can do whatever they want and if they have a passion, deep joy, for it, then God is trying to tell them something - do it! Still, pictures are worth millions of words. In the meanwhile, in this age where we just may get our first African-American president, let's just bask in the glory of their success.

Shock Jock No More

Well, well, well. Don Imus was fired from NBC. Maybe the world is ready for a black president.

UPDATE: Correction! Imus was fired from NBC and CBS. I recognize this is no small move for these giants. And since the sins of the husband also visit the wife, his wife, an author, had to cancel a book tour scheduled during this unfortunate time.

Will this widen the racial divide? There's nothing I can say at this time.

Black, White and Red All Over (LONG)

I don't necessarily live every day thinking about my skin color. It comes to mind for all sorts of reasons, whether I want it to or not. But generally, it is what it is - a part of my life but not necessarily something I obsess or worry over. Many people are simply foolish and I choose to roll my eyes and keep going. Most of the time my mantra is, "Life is too short..."

But I had to think about it over the past few days. First on Saturday morning when a friend of a friend who is working on her PhD came over to interview Daughter. She needed to talk to kids between the ages of 3 and 5 to see how their view on race is evolving. We don't talk race to Daughter right now. She says, "I'm beautiful!" And we just agree with her. That's about as far as it goes. So it was going to be interesting to see how she did when she was interviewed. The woman gave me a questionnaire as well, so I saw and heard them from a distance but I wasn't sitting there watching. I suspect that was intentional.

You've seen the test or heard of it. She showed Daughter 2 sets of dolls - 1 black, 1 white - to see which she thought looked nice, which she liked, which looked like her, etc. She pointed to the black doll when asked which looked like her. Considering that doll was darker than she is, that was interesting all by itself but then again, I took an inventory of her dolls beforehand (out of curiosity) and 9 out of 10 - and she may only have about 10 - are brown-skinned black dolls that are darker than she is.

When asked which doll she liked, she pointed to the black one again. But when asked which looked nice, she pointed to the white one. Now, I didn't study the white dolls - there were 2 different sets - but my first thought upon seeing one was, "Gee, she looks more Hispanic in color than white." And I can't recall now if it was blond or not. I don't know. Maybe it was just my own thinking that it didn't matter that kept me from zoning in on that. I choose black dolls for her automatically but I don't cringe when someone give her a white one.

Daughter was also shown illustrations. She picked the male over the female when asked who washed dishes. Not your typical answer but maybe she equated it with cooking and Mr. T certainly does more of that in our home than I do. She also picked the black woman over the white woman when asked who looked like she wouldn't say, "You go away. You can't play with me." (I forget the exact phrasing of this.) But she picked the black man as the one most likely to take money out of his kid's piggybank. And the white man as the one who looked nice or safe or something like that. Overall, she fell in line with most of the kids interviewed so far, picking whites over blacks in one category and going about 50/50 in the other two.

It was interesting. I intentionally set out to do things differently from other people and I teach my kids the same. Still, we're all just so much alike. The Interviewer and I agreed that for her age group, there aren't many cartoons to point to as far as where kids can gain a little cultural perspective so it's hard to blame TV per se. Even in her preschool, it's mainly black and Hispanic children in her class; few whites, though one of her teachers is white. And again, I don't talk race with her though I do with Son because he asks and because sometimes we simply must go there. After all, he is one of 2 black kids in his classroom and when you are truly the minority, no matter how used to it you are (and I am very used to it) defenses go up automatically. Or in this case, defense of my kid.

When her study is done, it shall be an interesting read to see what the Interviewer does with the info. In the meanwhile, Daughter doesn't seem to care and yet she is clearly being shaped by something other than us. Not sure yet what I want to do with that. Or if it's even necessary.

Then again, something is necessary.

The Don Imus incident can make this point. If you live in this area, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, you've probably heard about it anyway. Basically he was talking about the Rutgers women's basketball team and the clip I heard had him saying something to the tune of, "..they've got tattoos. Those are some rough nappy-headed hoes!"

Now the quote is not exact. The last 3 words are exact. Well, Imus has everyone up in arms and honestly, I'm still deciding what to think about it. On the one hand, he has apologized more than once from what I've heard and that clip DID sound like someone who spoke without thought. It did not sound intentionally malicious to me. It sounded like sheer ignorance. However, do we dismiss it? Is an apology enough? Many in the black community scream no.

One minister I heard on the radio likened it to the time that he was caught speeding. He apologized but the cop still gave him a ticket. (Please don't harp on the fact that a minister was speeding. They are human too, after all.) But is he right to equate the two? After all, they are calling for Imus to be fired. This man has been at the center of one controversy or another for about as long as I've lived here and known of him. I think that whatever is in a man's heart will eventually come to light and this slip - no matter how accidental it may be - is clearly an indication of what is in his heart. He may not realize it or intend it or even think of it that way, but some stereotypes are lingering there. But guess what? They are lingering in everyone. Some of us just don't have the format available where it might slip out like that.

A point was made that lots of black rappers, singers and such artists tend to use derogatory statements about our own people and this may give some the impression that it's alright for anyone to speak this way about our people. It's not. It's also not OK for us to do it either. But is firing him the answer? I just don't know.

I suppose part of the reason I am not screaming at the top of my lungs right now is because I'm just sitting here shaking my head at yet another example of how far we haven't come. So many people are calling for Imus to get fired and getting email protests going. I say, fine. If this is where the line will finally be drawn and if this will rally us to do more than complain, then maybe this can result in something good happening. Imus wouldn't think so, I know, but a fractured people finally coming together for the good of everyone is a good thing.

But what would happen if we took that same energy to elect Obama? We do rally around the negative things that hurt us as a people, which we should. It would be great if we pooled those same resources to make changes in the other direction - putting people of color into positions of power, financially boycotting the companies that exploit us, NOT buying into the things that feed the stereotypes about us. Demanding more out of our own. Supporting each other instead of denigrating each other. George Fraser pushes this agenda and this I can wholeheartedly support. But this is the harder job, I think - blazing a trail instead of jumping on a bandwagon. It would be the most wonderful thing to see us become one mind in THAT initiative. This is what will tell people how to treat us and they will think twice before dismissing us.

Here's the thing. When there is a wall between two people, the person who recognizes the wall and does something about it is the one who effects the change. It's one of the keys to creating positive relationships. You may be right. The other person may be right. Or you may both be wrong. But it only takes one of you to choose to bridge that gap. Yeah, that other person is stubborn, but you be the bigger one and walk away from the ignorance. That is what we need to do as a people.

Change starts from within. I'm not yelling at white peope right now because I'm sick of US degrading ourselves, belittling each other, perpetrating the crabs in a barrel mentality that is too often associated with us. What one of us does DOES reflect on us all so let's accept it and hold each other accountable.

Our children are angry and confused and hurt and we keep pointing the finger out - not that some of it isn't justified - but let's look at ourselves too. Let's finally fix it.
Let's not laugh at the brother who chooses to study or the sista who speaks proper English.
Let's stop calling each other the N word.
Let's stop acting like we are the center of the universe and go outside our neighborhoods to experience the world.
Let's stop being surprised a young woman has no children.
And while we're at it, we hate it when people say we're all alike. So let's stop expecting each other to be all alike!

Once upon a time, it was not acceptable to air your "family" business in the street. Now we let the whole world see how separated we are. We kill each other, we hurt each other. We are outraged when others treat us as we treat ourselves and each other and we blame them. They blame us. Where is this getting us? We need to regroup and try this again.

No, we should not let other people disrespect us as a people, as a culture. Email campaigns are great. But talk is cheap. Money is power and collectively, we've got it, ya'll. Oh, YES WE DO. We aren't using it right, that's for sure. Let's try putting down the weapons and putting our money where our mouth is and maybe we really can change the world.