Change of Plans & A Few Words from Susan Taylor

It's a major weekend this weekend. A turn in the road kind of day, today. Today there was a brunch in Philadelphia celebrating 20 years since I graduated from high school. My friends from the Philadelphia High School for Girls, b.k.a Girls' High, are coming out of the woodwork on Facebook and it's great seeing them virtually if not in person right now. They look great and since I was always the youngest in any class I was in (December babies usually are), we're talking about 38- and 39-year-old women here. I'm sure there was some talk about being so close to 40. I'm betting the cliques bonded again but that no one really felt left out since we were all in a more mature place in life. I wish I could have been there. But the plan was to be in D.C. for the next 3 days. The plans changed.

Instead, my friend and I mulled over the idea of being in potentially bone-chilling cold for hours before and during the event. We found out that food was not allowed to be brought in. Cameras can be but not camera bags. They are opening the Mall in anticiption of the crowds and if you've never been there, let's just say you do not want to be in the middle of there surrounded by hoards of people pressing around you and THEN need to go to the bathroom. Thankfully, my bladder knows how to behave and if I drink nothing in the morning, I'm cool for hours.

Then the questions became just how much would we be able to see? How long would the lines be in all the places we'd need to go or want to go? There was also my friend's father saying, "I wish you'd reconsider." He was worried about her safety. Neither she nor I are easily scared so that wouldn't have stopped us if this whole thing took place in, say, June. But the rest were factors we heavily weighed and when she hesitated the first time, I told her, it's OK. I don't mind NOT spending money. So she canceled the room. We're home to enjoy the whole thing from the best seat in the house - our homes.

But this is not only the week of President-Elect Obama's inauguration. Tomorrow is also the Dr. Martin Luther King holiday. I have NEVER been off for the holiday because no place I ever worked closes for that day. But I had taken off these 3 days to go to D.C. and decided to stay home Monday and Tuesday at least to take it all in without the disruption of the job. There is a program at my church tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. in celebration of Dr. King. It is sponsored by a local group and held at our church every year since our church is one of the largest here. The kids from Son's summer literacy program will recite the pledge they learned from the program, which means Son and I need be there. The keynote speaker is Susan L. Taylor, editor emerita of Essence magazine.

Earlier today, Bizzy Girl called me to tell me she got a free ticket to the meet and greet with Ms. Taylor that was taking place this evening. Could I go? Mr. T was out getting groceries but if he got home in time, heck yeah!

Why does Suan Taylor matter?
Susan Taylor's magazine is as old as I am so I grew up under the influence of this publication. I dared to dream about being a writer and even having my own magazine because of this woman's work. When people told me in college that I'd have to wear my hair straight for job interviews, I thought about Ms. Taylor and her ever present cornrows and I told them all, it's me as I am or it's nothing. After all, those people weren't going to be the ones doing my hair. (Yes, I've worn braids at every job I've had thus far.) One of my summer jobs in college was working as a cashier at a drug store in my neighborhood. When I was talking with some of the other employees about our dreams and goals, I mentioned wanting to write for Essence one day, or just being able to work there doing anything would be a great start, though I never relished the thought of being in New York. The white assistant manager of the drug store, Jerry Rice (yes, his real name. I don't care if I out him.) chuckled. "Essence? What's that?" I rolled my eyes at his naivete. Since he hadn't heard of the magazine it must not have been too big a deal right? Wrong, little man. Oh, how narrow your world must have been. It was a simple, dismissive statement, but thanks to him, I became even more resolute to do what I wanted to do.

So when I got the chance to meet Susan Taylor, I had to take it. Bizzy Girl and our other partner in the traditional greeting cards were going. We were going to give her one of our puzzles too. You never know where opportunity will strike so why not?

Ms. Taylor got up to speak and it was hard to catch everything she said. We did hear loud and clear that she was 62, turning 63 this week. You'd never guess it. She glowed.

I wanted to take it all in. The room was small and intimate and she had a mic but despite that, she spoke a little fast, not always clearly and we only caught snippets of what she said, but we got the whole message loud and clear. At this time of change in our country, here are some of the things she said:

"(Barack Obama) cannot save us. No one president can."

"Take care of you first."

"We have to embrace our own joy."

"Your responsibility is to you."

"It's a new day. Attend to your joy."

"We can get this right. It starts with us taking care of ourselves."

"Do what you have to do to keep moving forward."

"Hurt people hurt people." (Jerry Rice was most likely a hurt person.)

Afterward, we purchased her latest book and she signed them for each of us. "We have something for you," Bizzy Girl told her amidst all the chatter around us. "What's in that envelope she gave you," I pointed out, "we created it. That is what we do in our business." Ms. Taylor gave us an impressed look and hugged us for a picture. We waited until she was done hoping to get our own picture with her but she had already gone by the time we got back to her table. But it's OK. Bizzy Girl will see her tomorrow when she arrives at the church to speak. She'll have a private moment, more than likely and that's when she will see if she can mention us to her again.
We noticed before Ms. Taylor left that she'd only gotten a few things from the people in attendance so maybe the chance was high that she'd open the puzzle tonight. We had written messages to her on the back of the puzzle. One of them encouraged her to email us if she enjoyed the puzzles.

Wouldn't it be great if she did? If she does email a positive reaction, I will ask her if I can use it as a testimonial and add it into our marketing materials. Wouldn't it be great if she wanted some for herself and gave them out to her influential friends, including Oprah who decided it was one of her favorite things this year? Wouldn't it be great? This is the year of reaping, my friends. You just never know.

Know what else would also be great? If you voted for us in Start Up Nation Leading Moms in Business 2009 Competition. Check it out here. We'd REALLY appreciate it if you vote and you can do it every day until March 31, 2009 PT. Thanks for your support!

That's It. We NEED Help.

I'm sick of this. There is so much we need to do for our business and so much we want to do too. There are people to respond to and people to reconnect with and opportunities to look into as well as create. There are doors still cracked for us and I want to walk through!

We have been on that precipice far too long. Just because Bizzy Girl and I are full-time workers and mothers, does not mean we can't do this but we need help and we know it. We've always known it but help = time and time = money and money is something we can't dish out right now.

Although. Maybe.

If we think really hard.

And maybe if we get money back from taxes again. (I love having an accountant.)

There is ONE person we know who can do some of the job I am creating in my head. Not all of it, though. I'd like it all in one person. But still maybe we could come up with a figure and we would be somebody's project for the year and we'd pay a project fee.

Maybe.

Village Works is all about the village concept and it's necessary to call on other people sometimes, you know?

Well, this was just one part venting post and one part me writing things down in order to make it a reality.

So who is my dream personal assistant? Why let me tell you!

He or she is:

• local, first and foremost. I want to look in their eyes regularly.
• creative
• administrative
• professional
• eloquent in written and spoken word
• a good representative of us
• has clear understanding of what we do and want to do and who we are - the vision
• trustworthy
• organized
• fast
• independent
• either willing to work for experience/commission to start or sooooo affordable for us right now
• able to work just 1 hour per week for us at the very least. We don't have to be your all. We could be just one of the projects you work on.
• willing to sign a non-disclosure
  

This list is just the start. I may add to it but finding someone who has all this is my goal. Nope, not my dream. Forget that word for this. This has now become a goal.

NOTE: FYI. Have you voted for us yet? Check this out. We'd REALLY appreciate it if you do and you can do it every day until March 31, 2009 PT.

Support Village Works Enterprises LLC in the 2008 StartupNation Home-Based Business Competition

This is a contest we are in right now and voting is open through March. You can vote as much as you like but only once a day so if you're up for it, vote like crazy.

Now, we don't win anything tangible but it will give us bragging rights - though we aren't braggarts - and it will give us some publicity at the hands of some major players and that is worth it all.

My original thought was to keep this at the top of the blog, then I decided new people would see it, come back, and then maybe not realize I've stuck this here for now and think I haven't updated. So I'll just make sure each post from now until then links you back to this one! :-)

We thank you for your support!

Support Village Works Enterprises LLC in the 2008 StartupNation Home-Based Business Competition

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Dream Weaving

I love dreams. Not just the life-planning ones but the ones your mind entertains you with if you are lucky enough to fall into deep slumber. I don't really dream a lot so when I do, I pay attention to it because I believe they are always meaningful to you or someone if you take the time to work our their meaning. When someone else dreams about me, I take notice of of that too. My mind, as crazy as it is when I am awake, has been asleep on the job when it comes to dreaming but a friend recently emailed me a dream she had about me. (The one and only name in this has been changed because that's what I do here.):

Walking to wherever, I spotted you sitting and planting a small garden overflowing with colorful flowers under a big tree. We walked out to meet and greet each other and you showed me how Mr. T was planting grass (already very green and thick) in the yard. He was about to start paving the street, which had a big dip and breaks in the asphalt. He had his permits and equipment and was ready to start(and finish that day, apparently). You then gave me some light fixtures to donate to ??? -- and that was that.

I've been telling my prediction for 2009 and I may not have stated it clearly here yet but basically, 2009 is a year of reaping what we have sown. Could be good or otherwise but I think it's all working together for good if we let it. 2008 was a year of new beginnings/major changes and if nothing else, you've got to admit a black president is a whole new beginning/major change.

So if my friend's dream is meant for me, and I think it is, then I see some real reaping going on and I'm glad for it. I looked up the meaning of pavement and it has to do with setting goals. I laughed at reading this because my husband, at least when it comes to money, is a real planner. When he knows what he wants to do, he will make a detailed plan, although he sucks at sharing that plan. He likes to keep it close to the vest until time for action. But this dream has us all working together, as we should, and it just feels good to read that.

Now if this dream is meant for my friend, and I think it still is, then the message is to take this light of hope and blessings and pass it on. I know last year ended bleakly for many. We found out that the equity in our house was practically zapped. And I know this year is starting on the same bleak note but I for one can't help but feel good about last year - new president; new nephew; new and well-received products for our business. I guess because 8 is my favorite number, I don't see last year in a bad light at all. And this year just feels like all the things we've ever worked for will finally grow in a major way.

I've never experienced a job loss so I know I am speaking from a place of wishful thinking, but the opportunity for people to move into areas of passion to them is tremendous and I hope many people take advantage of that because I am POSITIVE God wants that for all of us. There is peace is pursuing the thing God created you to do and what is that, you ask? What do you love? What moves you? What gives you joy when you do it? Look there.

I know we live in a time of war, but the worldwide response to our new president should gives us all a sense of encouragement that we all want the same thing - peace and prosperity for all.

I know it seems like things fall apart, but for me, it helps push me toward my God and keeps my faith intact, and when the clouds are gathering and the storm is threatening, I can still thank God for growth that will come afterward.

No matter what your faith is, surely there are ways you keep yourself in a positive frame of mind. So tell me. Are you living the dream? Still dreaming? In a nightmare? Had a good, real dream that came true? The world wants to know!

My Desires for 2009

Emptying my head on virtual paper right now, planning what the business needs/wants to do for 2009. But while I'm thinking about that, a.k.a reality, I am also thinking about how things would be in an ideal world where time and money are not a concern.

What do I want to see happen in 2009? Well there's a personal level and a business level and I suppose the twain meet quite often. And no, this is not a resolution list. I don't do resolutions. I have goals and to-do lists that change all the time. Resolutions are mental prisons. I am free.

Now personally, I have two things that are my realistic goals:
1 - Seriously think about and work toward MAAAAYYBE planning for a baby next year. Can I be less concrete here? The physical prep for it can only do me good even if we decide against it but for now I want to act like it will be a go.
2 - Finish the freakin' book proposal! Spent the fall and start of winter working on the new line of greeting cards but that's not an excuse anymore.

Business-wise, I have a list of ideals. If someone said, "Monica, tell me what you want and I will make it happen," this is what I'd want:
1 - 8 more stores across the country gung-ho to sell our puzzles/greeting cards.
2 - 1 dozen teen-agers working as our teen sales team.
3 - One assistant to help me bring my ideas to life and to help us track the new and the old projects/products and one to help us focus on the customers.
4 - The website completely updated with all the bells and whistles we seek.
5 - A major vending piece in the summer and for the 2009 holidays, which will give us 4 for the year.
6 - 6 magazine mention/articles as the fun, hot, must-have product.
7 - At least 10 more sizeable custom jobs for the year.
8 - Noticeable profit for everyone involved, especially for the ones who've patiently stuck with us for the long haul.
9 - to grow from there in 2010 (even if a new baby joins the family).

So forget the resolutions. Anyone else have some goals/ideas for 2009?

What's Going On?

A lot. And not much.

I am sitting in bed on my wonderful, free laptop, which is sitting securely on my gifted purple lapdesk which is perched comfortably on my lap as I listen to Mr. T snore and I am letting you all know that not much is going on.

Bizzy Girl and I have been vending and we have one more to do for this month before we can start focusing on the new products for next year. We are going to do our first really large expo next September - about 17,000 people expected - so the job is to prepare for that while not missing our opportunities on the way. I am really excited.

I am not doing much.

The snow and ice has covered our world and more is expected. So I sit here watching whatever is on TV, catching up on my DVR'd shows, listening to the kids running and screaming. Earlier I pointed out to my husband the really fat diamond ring on some starlet's finger on Access and told him I really want one of those one day - a ring you can see from across a really wide street. We talked about that hypothetical third child and once again came to no real conclusion.

I am not doing much tonight.

A work friend texted me to thank me for recommending one of my favorite movies, Love, Actually, which I just bought but I loaned to her to watch first because she had never seen it before and I couldn't bear the thought of her not knowing that it's really not a chick flick but one of those romantic movies that is real but happy, not sappy. I've got Spanglish sitting in on my closet shelf. Do I feel like watching it tonight? Hmmm.

I am not doing much right now.

The kids just kissed me goodnight. They are planning to sleep together again tonight. I think Son thinks we don't know that he gets up in the middle of the night to play his DS or watch TV. He'll pull Daughter in with him again and she'll be tired tomorrow like she was this morning. But kids need to feel like they are getting away with things from time to time right? Not too often.

It's quiet now.

I know there is so much work to do at my job, and I managed to do 2 more jobs for my PT proofreading gig so they have stuff to do too. But tonight I won't sign on to the website or check work emails. I won't go looking on the proofreading server to see what's there. I'm just going to chill.

I am not doing much. Usually I am but right now, I am not. It's nice. Need to do this more often.

Another Precious Year

38 today. Wow. It's kinda weird to see that in writing.

Daughter said I will be old soon but I think she's 5 and dazzled by the freedom of her youth. Silly rabbit.

It's was sweet to open my laptop this morning and see "Happy Birthday" and heart stickers on it. It was funny to see a card from my editorial/IT co-workers and to have chocolate on chocolate cake. How'd they guess that? :-) My laptop now sits on my purple lapdesk on my outstretched legs as I write this right now, courtesy of these same co-workers, and even though it wasn't planned for me specifically, I even got a beautiful red Swingline stapler via the Yankee swap and that too was awesome. And lunch! Don't forget my birthday lunch that one co-worker/friend took me to.

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

Lots of birthday wishes on Facebook, an ice cream cake and my son reading to his sister AND helping her finish her homework so I can eat my cake and chill. Now THAT was the best gift of all.

Husband has to go to work so I get the bed to myself.

Oh yes. It's been a very good day.

Three's the Harm?

Visited my gyno this week. I always manage to forget my little medical issue until I do - if I have a third child, will he have to literally cut through bone to get to him? The X-rays I did earlier this year showed nothing. Except he's been there personally and knows I have some kind of calcification going on. It's enough to make him wonder if he'd need a bone expert with him should we go for #3. (Oh, in case you don't know. I get c-sections, thus the cutting.)

"I'd want to be prepared so I think I'd want you to do a cat scan, if you think you want to have another baby."

"uh, yeah. I'll get back to you on that."

Deliberately planning to have a child is no easy decision. Money, time, space, age and lack of energy come into play. Mr. T won't get off the fence and I can't seem to either. So I remain hopeful that God will override man's medical marvels and, if it's meant to be, Baby 3 - to be here known as The Baby - will come of his own accord, or God's.

In the meanwhile, I have my now 1-month-old nephew I can look at daily and wish I could hold. I can spend money on him if I choose and I don't lose energy doing it either. Plus, the distance actually keeps that baby bell from ringing because there is no physical contact to make me get off the fence one way or the other.

"But you keep talking about it, Monica."

You don't think I notice that? I don't know what to tell ya. The story continues.

A High Note

First of all, I just want to say my nephew is ADORABLE! Looking at his face. Had to say it. Nope. Haven't met him in person yet. Hopefully by March. I just wanted to say he's adorable and no, I'm sorry. I can't post his picture because while he is mine, he's not mine mine, you know?

I digress.

One week before my birthday - last night - I gave myself the gift of humiliation. Humiliation, once you have it, can make it easier to do something again because really, everyone already saw it so what's the mystery now?

"It" is me. Singing. Karaoke. With 2 co-workers in a contest at the office holiday party. Ok, singing isn't the best word. Nervousness had all 3 of us deciding to imbibe a bit, except I'm not a drinker so I sipped the one drink I had. Plus, it was only last week that I practically had no voice due to sinus issues. That + alcohol + nerves = 3 people singing You Can Ring My Bell in all sorts of keys. Not sure any of them were in the order they should have been.

We've discussed this before. I love to sing. Doesn't mean I'm good at it but I'm not horrible either. Of course, on a microphone, I learned that my voice sounds like someone is throwing it and it's hard to find your lost key when you don't even recognize the sound coming from your own mouth.

Nevertheless, there are some things in life that I need to do because it's part of who I am and it's not fair to bottle it up forever. Singing was one of them, whether it's karaoke or in the church choir, which I still need to do. Karaoke, at least, has the bar set really low and you have a shot at not disappointing too many people since they don't expect much anyway. After all, if I were like Whitney, I wouldn't be here blogging.

When they announced the contest, I immediately openly denounced it. "Are you doing it?" "No way!" But secretly I knew it was my chance to put that fear to rest, or at least have it take a nap for awhile. An innocent discussion with one of my departmental co-worker friends turned into her saying, "We should do it Monica!" Oh Lord. What have I gotten myself into? Next thing I know, we're convincing one of the guys to sing with us because we knew he'd be unexpected (I don't typically hang with him but I have nothing against him.) and he'd be comic relief, taking the attention from our nerves. He said yes immediately.

Then he said no. What the heck?

His departmental co-workers, he said, gave him such a hard time, next thing I know, my friend is telling me he's IMing that he's out.

So now I'm REALLY locked in while we talk him back in. After we rehearsed together a couple of times, we were laughing so hard, he was completely comfortable once again and raring to go.

Then the night came.

And he backed out again. Come on!

I won't tell you why. It will make this 6 foot something, hulking Russian guy look like a baby. But our 3rd partner came to rescue and got him back in again.

The rumors were flying. Everyone expected the Editorial chicks to do something. After all, we'd been playing "Put a Ring On It" out loud for about 2 days before the party. Playing. Singing. Dancing. Who was going to be Beyonce? That was the question. But we had no desire to humiliate ourselves THAT much.

All three of us ended up at different tables for dinner and the DJ said he wanted at least one rep from every table to sing. No one ran to the mic. So who serenaded us for awhile while we got our guts together? American Idol 5th season contestant Kevin Covais. He's 19 and adorable. He also has diabetes, thus the connection.

Still, no takers so we manned up. The Russian donned the feather boas and took the tiny bell that was drowned out by his deep voice and we had fun. Everyone else did too. People say we were brave. I guess. I only know I had something to prove to myself.

On the way home, I tried to figure out how I talked myself into this thing in the first place. What could have given me the courage? Alcohol? Naw. It's wasn't even a whole drink, though Mr. T. says I get tipsy off one. The prize money? Well, it was an incentive. Me getting ever older and less concerned about what others think? Could be. Was it that I'm working with a great group of people that I can genuinely work hard with and play hard with too? That's a possibility as well. In the end I decided I was just happy. Happy to be so blessed doing what I love, with people I respect. Living a life of purpose with a family that endlessly entertains me. I'm content. So maybe this was me showing that.

I'm glad I sorta conquered this nagging fear. It was worth it.

And yes, we won.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

My cell phone woke up my Christmas tree this morning. At least I'm pretty sure that's why it was twinkling its lights angrily at me when I went into my living room looking for my faithful purple friend who usually sleeps face down next to my bed. I had had a lot to drink last night - uh soda. Not spirits, thank you very much - so my bladder was kind enough to step in this morning to make sure I got going.

So I picked up my phone and in seconds it was screaming its usual wake up song at me, causing me to jump in fright.

"What gives? Why the yell, cell?"

Silence.

"OK. I accidentally left you in the living room last night..."

"And I bet you didn't even notice," she hissed.

"Woah. Power down there. I noticed....this morning," I replied sheepishly.

"Ever since you won that laptop. It's been Twitter this and Facebook that and blogging more. Visiting your business groups more. Meeting people more. Networking more. Getting word out more about your business. You even play cards on it! You used to play with ME that way, looking for fun ringtones to add to your list!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry!"

"You walked right out last night and didn't even look back! Didn't you feel like something was missing? I remember hearing you tearing up the house once before when you'd thought you lost me. I was willing someone to call you or for an alarm to go off or something because I hated hearing you in agony. I loved you!"

"But I love you too! Don't you hear me cursing myself if I get in the car in the morning and think I left you on the kitchen table? Just yesterday I was patting myself down like a criminal thinking I had to go all the way back in the house to find you..."

"But I was in your pocket the whole time."

"That's right! You're a part of me. I do notice when you're not there. You. Complete. Me."

"Awww! It's just..."

"...that the laptop is here now and yes, it's letting me do all the stuff I was too lazy to do before because I'd have to trudge all the way downstairs in the cold to my stationary computer. I'm pretty sure it's not speaking to me now."

"Yeah. It does feel neglected."

"See? And I love it too. After all, we have that special bond. It will always be my first raffle prize. Irreplaceable."

"Should have seen this coming."

"What do you mean?"

"I know. Your last cell phone told me what happened last time a laptop was in this house."

"Oh. Yeah."

"What happened to that one?"

I looked away wistfully. "It was Mr T.'s. He...sold it."

Cell phone was quiet. "Why?"

"Someone saw it at work and liked it. That man is moved by the buck."

"Hmm..." I could hear it's batteries charging. "Any chance...."

"No. Way."

We sat in silence as I blogged our story.

"Um, Monica?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you have to get to work and get the kids up for school?"

"Oh shoot! What time is it?"

"Almost 7. What's wrong, your new laptop couldn't tell you that?"

I chose not to answer that. Laptop tells me the time alright, but in gentle prodding ways over in the corner of the screen. It doesn't like to intrude.

"Naw. Guess it can't do what you can Celly. And it's not a cool color like you are either."

"You're darn skippy it's not. Anybody can wear black. It's takes someone cool to pull off purple the way I do."

"Come on. Let me here that familiar ring again. Just, please, tone it down this time?"

Ahhh, the sweet sound of a cell phone alarm. Nothing like it.

Order in My Court

I am going to be 38 in 15 days. So you'd think I'd know me by now. But I seem to be at some odd stage where I am noticing things about myself again, like I did in my 20s, and realizing I've been this way my whole life. It's like Dorothy discovering she could get home the whole time.

Take this organization compulsion I have. Never thought a thing about it before now. Never saw it as a positive or a negative. Never put it on a resume as a skill. It simply didn't stand out for me as a trait. Only now does it seem to be proving it plays a huge part in who I am and how I do things.

All my life I have:

1 - liked things to balance in every way possible.
2 - hated for things to be out of place and that goes for people too.
3 - loathed messiness. My space, whatever it was, was neat when I started and neat when I ended because who wants to come back to the same stuff from a different day?
4 - made lists.
5 - preferred even numbers to odd. Ok that one may be a little off but it's just another form of balance to me.
6 - nothing really. Just wanted to end with an even number.

People noticed how my desk at work was always clean at the end of the day. When writing papers in school, organizing my thoughts was never the issue. Neither was organizing my locker. If you look in my car's glove compartment, you won't be afraid that you'll lose a hand in there.

I get a thrill at just seeing things in place. I feel at peace. I feel content. If it's messy, I feel scattered. I feel wrong. I get jumpy. I just can't think straight. Normal. I didn't think much about this. So what if I think clothes should be put in rainbow order. How else do you know what you have? Books should be categorized according to subject first, then either alphabetical by author or according to size (depends on my mood). And if you take something out of place, put it back so you'll never have to hunt for things.

I've been known to leave the house late for something because things are out of order. I tend to count things too like how many grapes I put into a sandwich bag to take to work. Gotta be an even number. I suppose I have a little Monk disorder.

So here I am facing 38 - and I have no problem with that - and I find myself growing less and less tolerant of certain behaviors in others as my own compulsions come more fully into the light. To my family: Will everyone please stop coming home and dropping stuff in the middle of the kitchen floor and dumping crap on the table? Why can't the stupid towels get hung up and why do people keep asking me whose is whose when I am the only one who hangs them up in the first place - in the same places - every time?

Balance and order. That's all I want. Is that too much to hope for? I suppose it is for some. I suppose I can be over the top. I laughingly tell people the extent to which I try to balance things, just to see their heads spin. For instance, I told you my birthday. Dec. 18th. Well, Daughter's birthday is Oct. 28. Note the 8 in her number like in mine. (I picked the day so it's no coincidence. I love 8's.) I didn't pick Son's date, however. His is March 14. I didn't pick Mr. T's either. His is Jan. 4. See all the even numbers? Makes me very happy. And notice the way the birthdays fell. the 1st and 3rd month of the year for the boys. The 10th and 12th months for the girls. The balancing of the placement of the months overrides the odd number of the boys' months. (Hey! I'm letting you in my head here for a sec. No judgments!) Soooo, you might remember that a 3rd child (nope, no fourth) has always been up in the air. But I know I'd be picking that date too. How do I get my balance? Well, I'd have to get pregnant in September, first of all. It's an anniversary month so not unlikely. That way I can shoot for June 6 or 16th. Middle month, middle number. Head spinning yet? This is my world. Thanks for visiting.

Back to my patience, she is a dwindling. Take my kids (please!). My kids' rooms stay in a war-torn state and it sickens me every time I look in there. "But they're kids!" "All kids' rooms are messy!" Are they? Really? REALLY? I called my mother not long ago because I had to know. I was giving myself this same excuse in my head but for the life of me it wasn't ringing true. I couldn't remember junk being all over my floor as a kid. Now, I never liked making up a bed, I admit. But I was forever trying to find ways to make things fit neatly together so I could get to whatever I wanted fast. I distinctly remember moving things around a lot always looking for the better way. Dolls were fitted neatly on each others' laps. Games were together and boxes were in size order. My mother confirmed it. I liked everything in its place. So, this mess my kids live in? It's because this is who they are, not simply because they are kids. They will mature and get better, I know. But I will be cleaning up behind them because it's who I am and it stresses me out to do nothing about it.

Who am I? Apparently I am who I always was but I didn't know this aspect until now. But it pleases me to know that I am this way because I have always admired it in others. So now, I admire myself. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy abstract stuff too , if only because I like to try to bring order to it, in my own mind anyway. Yeah. This is me. It's a little neurotic to others but when those same people are missing something, who they gonna call? You got it. And I'll be there to answer.

Oh Sonny Boy

I have 2 children. They are both the offspring of Mr. T and myself. They look alike, they act like, sometimes they even annoy alike. In my analysis thus far, Daughter exhibits the traits I like or accept in myself. Son exhibits the ones I have issues with.

I've talked about him before and will continue to do so not just because it's my blog and I'll whine I want to, but because this is how I process.

Daughter is moody, like me. It doesn't bother me.
Daughter isn't really a morning person, like me. I respect that.
Daughter has a fiery temper, like me. Son fears her at times. I just smile in recognition or else put her in her place.

Son is picky. I never called myself this but yeah, I like what I like and forget the rest. Still, I want him to be open because I wish I had been braver about things when I was younger.
Son is dramatic. Don't really see myself this way but that fiery temper tends to be my response to things sometimes and certainly that is over the top.
Son is slow to accept change. This could be related to the pickiness. I'm cool with change that I initiate. Otherwise, I may need a minute to readjust.

If you put my two baby bears on a rainbow and gave them a color, Daughter would be red and Son would probably be blue. So why do I clash more with my blue Son? Still figuring that out.

I admitted to a friend not too long ago that I prefer dealing with Daughter because she's easier for me. Ironic, considering I never wanted a daughter in the first place for fear we'd be too much alike and fight all the time. Son is actually easy to love. He's sweet, respectful, sincere, affectionate, smart, and when you really think about that whole pickiness thing, I suppose it shows he's strong-willed too. Who can't like those qualities? Well, those aren't the things that get to me.

Before you tell me not to compare my children, I tell you I already know they are individuals and to love them for who they are, blah blah blah. The fact is Daughter is brave. I wish Son were moreso. So many times things have come up that I am certain he would have liked if only he weren't so afraid of new things. When Daughter gets stressed, she gets angry. I suppose that is an emotion I understand so it doesn't bug me as much, though I do tell her she'll get nowhere with it. Son, on the other hand, cries and whines and repeats himself over and over and it nearly drives me nuts because of the relentless repetition of it all. If something doesn't make sense in his homework, he whines for help (I really never liked whining.) and there is this whole begging thing in his voice that grates on my nerves. I want to tell him to man up. Stop whimpering. Just say you don't get it in a normal voice. (I told you I know he's 8. Doesn't change how I feel.)

Now, I don't make things easy on them, I confess. When it comes to homework, I don't hand out answers like candy on Halloween. I say, "Look at it again. Read it again. Tell me what you understand. Tell me what you don't understand. Look at the homework in its totality. Is there nothing there to clue you in as to how you should get your answer?" (Generally, this is related to math homework.) Unlike me, Son is a linear thinker and that is something I don't know what to do with. If he knows one way to get an answer, then that is what he does forever. The moment the numbers change order or the math turns to words, all hell breaks loose.

"Son. You CAN do this. Stop. Think. Read it slowly. Doesn't some of this look familiar?"

"I don't know! I can't do it!"

Wanna get me riled up? Tell me you "can't" when you haven't even tried.

So I get stressed and wonder how to teach him how to think creatively. How do I convey that there is usually more than one way to get an answer. 9 times out of 10, when I come home to that unfinished homework he says he can't do, I ask questions, I say what I said before and suddenly he can do it after all. Still, he doesn't realize yet that he CAN do it if he tries and that all I ever ask is that you at least try before you give up. Don't immediately jump to how you can't or how it won't work or how it's not exactly how you thought it should be so it must not be the right way.

My struggles with him is in his confidence. I get angry when he downs himself, saying he's stupid or doesn't know how to do things. "I don't like math because I can't do it." But he can! Even his teachers from every single grade so far say he can. Now, I tell him he may not like it, and that's fine but he can't do it? He's lying to himself and needs to cut it out.

I suppose my fight with him is not about today, it's about tomorrow. I'm afraid he won't see what I see - a smart, creative kid with so many natural abilities if he'd let himself be aware of them. I fear he'll be a follower. Sometimes you have to but never at the expense of your own will and morals. I'm scared he'll miss out because he's suspicious of new things. When we have our shouting matches - well, me shouting, him whining - I'm pretty sure he's in the moment. I keep thinking of what today's insecurity could develop into if I don't snap him out of it. But the counselor in me also is aware that I have to be here and just make myself chill out and embrace the boy of today lest he think I don't like him for who he is. Couldn't be further from the truth. It's who he is that I see so clearly. But right now it is masked by the qualities that need refinining. And that remains the challenge - setting aside my ways so I can deal with his effectively and shine a spotlight on the things he has yet to appreciate.

It's simply not easy for me. Don't be surprised if I vent some more on the topic one day. I know all of this frustration on my part risks our future relationship, at least during those teen and early adult years when so many people are coming into their own and don't know what they don't know yet. I know that I risk giving him some sort of complex maybe or driving him into himself because he thinks I don't accept him.

Still, in all my frustration, it is easy for me to tell him how great he is and in my imperfection, I can only pray that he will one day see that all I ever wanted was the best for him and we'll finally reach a place where he too fully loves himself as much as I love him. He's my first-born after all; the one who showed me that being a parent is an honor and receiving the love of a child is a privilege. He's the one who started me on the path to enjoying simply providing for him because it made me feel good to see him healthy and happy and content to just be my son. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize all that but I have my signs. I listen out for the familiar, "Hug and kiss. I love you" that I get every night before he goes to bed. He insists upon it, in fact. That's how I know we're still in the game. I intend for us to win it.

Launched!

Months of work and waiting. Done. The 2 new children's puzzles are finally done and ready to be released to the world. And that's not all! The new traditional greeting cards are ready too and as always, there are greeting card puzzles galore.


The challenge now? Get the word out because we want to get these kids inspired and keep them that way. So what do we have?

Well there's this one - Dream Big. This one has a minor tweak being done to it but the picture willk be the same. It's 11x17, 35 pieces and you can get it for $10.

And then there is this one:

Also 11x17, this one has 200 pieces and sells for $15.

These babies are our brain children. Been rooting about in our heads for a while now. I'm just glad to finally see them out and about! Now, holiday cards. We have a package of 12 cards for $10 available and there are 4 designs in it. You'll have to contact me to see that one. We also have a new Kwanzaa cards - with mini puzzles to go with it! - and so much more in the works. So exciting!

There you go. Part of what I've been up to. And with this blogpost, I'm not even halfway through my list of ways I'm telling people about this. So I've gotta go!

By the way, we take cash, credit, checks and money orders. Oh and if you really like the children's puzzles and want them for Christmas, you must order by Dec. 1st. Sorry so tight but I tell you this stuff is FRESH!

Next time!

Savoring the Thought of Success

My partner is afraid of success. Can't blame her. It's an exotic dish that you have to know how to swallow or it may kill you. So, fear is a good thing. But the fear makes her freeze, well it's only thin ice maybe. For instance, because of one of my groups, we have a very real chance to be on one of my favorite shows - The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch - if I ever want to get us there. That freaks her out. I therefore have to pretend like nothing is happening and be the one who is scared too but keep heading toward it anyway. I hate bugs so I scoot them out of my house or look for my husband. My kids hate bugs. No husband around? Mommy becomes a killer. We all do what we have to do.

We have to succeed. We will. That's a given. Just a matter of when.

The timing of things lately has been interesting and the opportunities have been nothing short of miraculous. Store owners who know us or have worked with us already are making space for us - for free - simply because they believe in what we are doing. Prices to produce things are rock bottom as a result. Vending opportunities are coming right at the very moment new projects are finishing. Quirky friends are making it big in their own right and sharing the wealth - simply because they want to do that with us. Other friends we haven't seen in a while are literally walking into our lives the very moment we think we need to contact them for something.

Right now it's all a jumble what needs to be done and for who and when. There is much to sort out very quickly in order to get on the shelves, in racks and hopefully into very influential hands. And why do I want this? Why do WE want this? Because we love what we do and believe in it, but even more so because we so desperately want to give back in droves what others have given us over the years to help us.

It's not easy doing this when you have a family and a full-time job, I admit. I'd love to sleep more but it's hard to sleep when ideas are stomping about in your head demanding attention. Someone once said, "I can sleep when I'm dead," right? Well, I don't want to wait quite that long. Still, I've got to keep pushing. We do. We all do. I love this so very much because this whole endeavor started with three of us and the 3rd person was never gone, only preoccupied with other things. She's back with a vengeance and to succeed in a major way right now with her fully in the picture would just be the cherry on the sundae. We would have come full circle.

Tonight I go to dinner with a friend and chill for a moment before diving back into all the logistics that need to be worked out this very week. My goodness! Look at the time. Thanksgiving is next week already?

I'm late! I'm late! Back down the rabbit hole I go.

He Is Born

It is official. I am an aunt. Happy birthday, baby!

It's a Laptop, Baby!

A new laptop today, a new nephew tomorrow? Awesome!

God is great. Joining the PTA - again - netted me a much-coveted prize ever since Mr. T. sold his laptop earlier this year. The PTA had a membership drive and was raffling off a Dell laptop. I won. (Interestingly enough, I won my Dell desktop too a few years back in a raffle for people who had perfect attendance in the business workshop I took.) Now I have my own, which I sorely needed due to the impending side gig. I am finally at phase 3 over a month after I first sent my resume to them. It's not them, though. Twice I had to have 3-hour blocks of time to take the test and that's not easy to find during a typical week let alone the crazy ones I've had lately. But now I am laptop happy and can go back to wandering the house to do what I need to do instead of sitting at a desk. I suppose it may be the fact that I am already sorta tied to a desk all day that makes me resent doing it at night too. And with Son taking over more and more every day, I need to see what he sees a little easier than I do right now. So tonight I go play with it and hopefully it has wireless already so I don't have to buy a card.

And speaking of buying, I've got to jump online tonight to get what I was going to buy my new nephew. He wasn't due for another week but his mom needed to be induced because he is apparently smaller than he should be and they think he would be better out than in. So my guess is he'll be here tomorrow - maybe tonight! - and November will forever be the month the U.S. made history and my family got another boy to carry on the family name.

Can't wait!

Let the Healing Begin

You know, my blog is supposed to be about me trying to juggle everything in my life, and there are things coming at me - trying to get things organized regarding our newest puzzles and greeting card project; our stress in refinancing our mortgage (well, the stress in finding my MIA accountant lately to get what we need to get the process going); my neverending online job interview in my quest to get a gig I can do from home whenever I feel like it because there is simply never enough money these days. It's life, therefore la la la la, it goes on. But lately the election has taken over my blog just like it has the rest of the world. Of course now the election is over - YES! - but issues remain. Well, one issue in particular and I thought I'd see what I could do with it.

I was talking with someone after the election.

PERSON: Isn't it great? The whole world is watching. It's such an exciting time!

ME: Yeah, it's fantastic. It's really great for my people. We really needed this.

PERSON: Yeah, but it's really good for everyone, you know?

ME: Absolutely! But it's also a fantastic thing for the African-American community.

I forget what she said after this. I just smiled at her and let her think I was the clueless one.

I said it in my previous post, I'm not trying to keep the racial divide alive but the cards are on the table and we may as well look at them. Everyone is trying to be in a unifying mood, right? Well, denial is not productive. Do you want to understand this thing or not? Because I can't fully explain no matter how hard I try and I can't expect everyone to fully get it. But do you want to try? Well listen up.

The African-American community is a large and diverse one and I cannot speak for us all nor do I want to so don't think you can ask me to. No generality will ever suffice either. That being said, culturally we are a private people who don't want our business in the street. What happens at home stays there. This is part of the reason we aren't big on therapy. Again, this is collective. Plenty of us endorse therapy, do it, give it.

The fact that there are issues in our community isn't a secret, I don't think. But is this brand new day one that excludes racial issues? Nope. Don't be so naïve as to think it does. We took a gigantic leap forward, that's for sure and it's a healing thing for our community to see this. But it's not a cure. Just the start. Hatred toward us and within us toward ourselves continue.

Case in point 1. Ralph Nader and his wondering if Obama will be an Uncle Sam or an Uncle Tom? I think he may have thought he was speaking on behalf of minorities. I think he mispoke.

Case in point 2. Watch this lovely little Journey's video.

That happened in 2008. Think no one is going to call President-Elect Obama this name? I promise you he knows people do.

Case in point 3. Talked to my mother after the election. She lives in one of those red states and she helped at the polls. When trying to get people to register to vote - and why are there still people over 18 who aren't anyway? - she was met with a variety of reasons why they couldn't do it such as, "I might get called for jury duty." And there was a really good one, "It might affect my paycheck." Huh? Want to know the best reason of all? Well, some of the people worked for a powerful white man who successfully threatened them with, "If you vote, I will know."

Again, this is 2008 folks. Starting to grasp what we are still dealing with? No? Ok here's a little of how we think on a daily basis without even trying - I've shared some of this before:

1 - Someone was arrested for a crime. "Oh Lord, please don't let it be a black person." It was. ::collective groan::

2 - We are accepted OR rejected for something. "Was it because I am black?" That's right, even when something good happens, we can never be too sure it's not because someone had a quota to fill and therefore we wonder if our merits were good enough on their own or not? This is more likely to be when the situation involved people we don't know or who don't know us.

3 - One too many "helpful" people come up to you in a store. "Are they following me thinking I am going to steal something?" Sometimes, that's precisely the reason. Yes, in 2008.

4 - "All rise to say the pledge of allegiance." So we do and maybe we say something or maybe we don't. But can we look at an American flag and not think betrayal and past wrongs? Nope. The red is the blood of the dark (represented by blue) people who were trampled by the whites once upon a time. Not just us, either. We know that. That red represents our red brothers and sisters as well.

5 - Ever started a new job and noticed how many people of your race are around you? We do. Every time. Generally - at least on the corporate level - we are one of a handful, if we're lucky. One of 2 usually. Me? It's me and a Latina and, for a year now, our wonderful intern from Tobago.

Some of this is the daily reality of some of us. Much of this is instinct. We don't train our kids to think this way - not all of us, anyway. I know no one trained ME to think this way. To be aware, yes, but to be suspicious of so much? No. But I suppose self-preservation is something that can be picked up even without words.

I do not consider myself hypersensitive. Nor are my friends. Nor are my parents. But for certain they would all agree that we have a lot of baggage we carry around and while we don't want it, it is there nevertheless, popping open when we least expect it. If you have any sort of baggage - and you do - then you will understand how this works. So don't tell me, "Just get over it, already." If it were that easy it would have been done by now.

I mentioned already the concerns of African-American parents in raising our children to be in the world but not scarred by it, at least not when it comes to something beyond our control like skin color - Michael Jackson aside.

So are you getting close to figuring out why Barack Obama's win is a good thing for everyone but we, as a people, REALLY needed this? Why it doesn't take away from anyone else at all or the victory we all shared, it's simply something that is personal and healing for us as a people? I hope you do see it as just that - a personal issue - and don't try to take that away from us with comments such as, "Time's have changed!" and "Look on the bright side." Instead, if someone does share that with you, feel free to listen and commiserate. Got a true similar experience? You might be able to share it if you have that kind of relationship where the other person already feels you are a trusted friend. Otherwise, listening is enough. Really.

It's simply going to take time and a willingness to be healed before this issue will really be a thing of the past. I personally think the first steps to accepting that healing have to be made by us. But I just don't know if it will be done this side of heaven. One thing is for sure, communication is opening up a bit more and that is good. A black man in the White House may cause some bigots to feel free to express their hostility a little more openly. That could be good too if only because we'll all really know who we are dealing with.

I am choosing to emphasize even more to my children that only they limit themselves. I am going to continue to look at this new beginning with the optimism I still feel, so in love with my people and now my country too.

OK. Time for a new topic.

Yes, He Did

Yesterday, to raise a black child in this world, you had to know the fine art of instilling hope and optimism while teaching reality and skepticism.

Yesterday, my people went to work and took tiny steps toward their individual goals with the dreams, blood, sweat and tears of our ancestors in the back of their minds, clothed in the garments, hair and sometimes the speech of the people we thought we needed to be like in order to succeed.

Yesterday, apathy was the order of the day.

Yesterday, wrong was right and morals were left behind.

Yesterday, you could not have convinced me that real, defining change will take hold of this nation while I am alive to see it.

Yesterday is gone.

TODAY, children like my soon-to-be nephew will be born into a world where it's normal for people of color and women to be as much in power as white men.

TODAY, black parents can say, "You can be president someday if you want to" and they - and their children - will believe it.

TODAY, being a black male who does well in school will be greatly admired instead of teased.

TODAY, there is no more "talking white" but just the respected ability to communicate.

Hear me, my friends. This win is a win for EVERYONE but first and foremost, for me, this win is the breath of life MY people needed. I do not say this to keep the racial divide alive. I say it because we are part of this country - helped to build it - but we were sick and tired and angry and hopeless and divided among ourselves. We, as a people, needed to be reinvigorated in order to be on one accord with everyone else, thus making us able to celebrate with you instead of feeling animosity toward you. The chain is only as strong as its weakest link. African-Americans are one of the links and Barack Obama, along with his beautiful and intelligent wife, Michelle, helped strengthen us for the sake of the whole.

You want to know the beauty of this miraculous event? Even those who hate the thought of this man as president will get to reap the rewards of us working together and choosing to set aside the things that make us different (and, by the way, special) and focusing instead on the things that make us the same. One of those things being this country we live in. Whether you are rich or poor or black or white, don't we ALL want the best for our children? Don't we ALL want to lead lives of purpose and fulfillment as well as have the option to just do whatever the heck we we want to do sometimes? Don't we ALL want to retire while we are healthy and have the money to do so? Don't we ALL want to be able to go to the doctor when we are sick and not when we are too desperate to wait another second? Don't we ALL want to know peace?

It's no question that I guarded my heart with this man. I saw the possibility of him winning becoming more and more real but I know all too well that we can get close and have victory snatched away. I needed to hear them all say - Barak Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America. Then I could let it go. I would only then be free to tell all of you who don't really know just how much it hurts a parent to place any limits on their child, even though that was never the goal. For their safety, you had to surround them with bumpers, constantly hovering to catch them in case they fell into the wrong situation. Now, we only need to say, "Yes, you can."

Suddenly the playing field has been leveled even for those of us that have already been in the game for a while. Even better, this man's election simply removed blindfolds for many of us because the way it should be was the way it could have been all along if we took the time to recognize it. Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore and thank God for it!

This man is the best in ALL of us. His family is the picture of how a family should be. His marriage is the definition of support no matter what. His cool demeanor is alllll jazz, baby. And we are babies in this world, finally learning to walk and the rest of the globe is supporting us. That too feels good.

Black people. Remember the determination our enslaved forefathers and mothers carried on their backs, never to be beaten away? Remember the struggles for common humanity our grandparents reminisced about with that sadness in their voices? Remember the sacrifices our hardworking parents made, forcing many of us to be latchkey kids? Remember that Dream Dr. King so eloquently spoke into history? Though we could feel it, we couldn't see what was in their heart but here it is. This is it. This is that dream personified. Now we all know.

I wish I were a fly on the wall of the gangbangers' lair. I wish I were a little birdie on the windowsill of the incarcerated brothers who know better but chose worse because jail is preferable to the streets or to a minimum wage job. I wish I were a goldfish in the bowl of that black frat house, hearing them mull over this new road that has opened before them. A freshly paved road that takes them to a moral high ground that was once too treacherous to climb.

So why did Obama win, the critics ask?

Because even the people who thought they were beyond the power of cynicism were dragged into the depths of frustration that too many of us already live in daily. Even the ones who did not know or did not choose to acknowledge that the price for equality was more than most people could afford, found out that when one of us gets hurts we all suffer. God allowed the blind to see and the marginalized to find hope again. Obama won because he pointed the way out and enough people realized it would be stupid and self-destructive to not listen.

Listen to this video. Over and over. Hear those voices in unison. Allow yourself to feel that hope, people. And resolve that you too will make the sacrifices needed to advance us all.

It's a brand new day folk. And I am so very, very proud to be an American right now. I am even prouder still of our children for whom ancestral memory is clearly intact and who heard this call, answering with a resounding, "Yes, we can!"

Can You Feel A Brand New Day?

Today's the day and I am on pins and needles, bouncing on the inside, anxious to get home and watch the news until the whole shebang is finally over. I've said it twice already - It's like Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve all rolled into one. The anticipation of the gift of a new president and new sense of direction. The dawning of a new time. It's hard to even write this. Just. So. Much. Stuff.

Kids are excited, man. People who never voted before are coming out to vote. People are choosing to wait in long lines in the dark and cold and they are NOT complaining. It is awesome. I got up at 4:30 because I wanted to be there at 6 to get my vote done and to not have to needlessly deal with a crazy long line after work. The kids are out of school today so they went with me. They know the names Obama and McCain and I admit, it's not because I've been talking non-stop about either of them. You know where they are hearing stuff? From other kids in school. Son's class did a vote. Most voted Obama, he said. Daughter says no to McCain because "he takes money." She thinks because he has money, he stole it. "No, Daughter. He's wealthy and so is Obama, actually, though it might not be quite the same amount. It's OK if people have money. It's not bad." In line they sang their own Obama-Yes-McCain-No song. And actually, I have some stupid cold/allergy thing going on so I just wanted to get out of the cold so my nose would open up again. Other than that, the feeling in the air was amazing.

I got more texts before 8 a.m. than I've ever gotten before. My brother is forward texting a prayer that Obama is protected and I second that with my prayer that we ALL keep our cool no matter what. Everywhere I turn it seems Obama is the man all over the place. I don't normally care what celebs endorse but I've been thinking maybe I'm just not paying attention but what celeb has come out to publicly endorse McCain so far? Obama is getting it right and left - politically and literally - but McCain? Interesting. The idea that that race may FINALLY become a lesser issue? Fantastic.

This time is simply like no other. Watching the news this morning while I waited for Mr. T to take over the kids so I could go to work, I listened to Eric Michael Dyson as Matt Laurer finally brought the race issue all the way to the front - because really, I think we've been doing our best not to tackle fully that just yet. But time's up so let's call it out. Basically Matt wondered what it would say if he won and if he didn't. So I'll let you listen to that yourself - after you get past the commercial:

In case you need the lyrics:

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain’s the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They’ll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama’s new, he’s younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He’ll bring a change, he’s got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq’s a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won’t
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won’t!
Have enough experience - you know that they don’t
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won’t

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you’re going to have some drama
We need it
HE’LL BRING IT
He’ll be it
YOU’LL SEE IT
We’ll do it
GET TO IT
Let’s move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I’m talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN’T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Waiting to Party Like It's 1999

First, a moment of silence for Madelyn Dunham, Barack Obama's grandmother.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/obama/chi-obama-grandmother-madelyn-dunham,0,2249369.story

I've said it often and I'll say it again. Grandparents are crucial in the development of a child. For everyone who has theirs, thank God for it. I know mine were - and one still is - awesome.

Now.

I am so excited. More than I have ever been during an election year. And part of that excitement is for the usual reason - I am thinking my choice is going to win this and that is beyond exciting. The other part? I am just so ready for this thing to be over with already! I am tired of it. I am glad for it but tired of it. I am anxious to go vote tomorrow but not looking forward to the potential wait either. My plan is to be there for when the polls open at 6 a.m. and that means dragging the kids with me since Mr. T won't be able to be with them. But since they don't have school, I don't mind disrupting their sleep. My hope is that I can be among the first to get in there and get done. And then I can go home, make popcorn and watch the news all night long. Know the last time that happened? NEVER!

I don't know why Connecticut doesn't have early voting and I haven't had a chance to go figure out exactly what the difference is between early voting and absentee voting. But it's not fair. Why can't all the states have that option? At least during a Presidential election and definitely for one as big as this. Everyone knows this is huge. Somebody could have made an exception this year. But, we'll forgo sleep and hopefully skip a long line to go get the deed done and then bug people all day to make sure they did they same.

I may have blogged about 2008 back when the year changed. (I have to go see.) But if you don't recall, 2008 was set to be a year of major changes. That's what the number 8 means - New Beginnings. For me, it's one sign that Obama is the pick. Want to know another sign? McCain's latest ad trying once again to make it seem controversial to pick Obama because of who he knew or knows or met on a random street one day. If they are drudging out that old Rev. Wright issue again, they must be desperate. And it also goes to show how out of touch McCain is when it comes to non-whites because Rev. Wright didn't say anything that many of us black folk haven't already heard in our own churches. But what people need to understand is that this kind of racial talk is not about white folk. It's about healing black folk and getting us all to understand that we must stand on our own power and stop blaming white people for our problems. The anger is still there and to pretend like it isn't is naïve. But there is also work toward community healing going on. A boosting of the collective self-esteem. Obama would be a huge boost indeed.

It's been a great year so far - even if I do have to refinance my mortgage this month. (It went up twice already and a new mortgage will send it up a little more. Whoopie! Feeling the effects of that bailout probably.) I think things will end on a very interesting note.

Tomorrow night is going to be like waiting on New Year's Day to dawn. I have seen a lot of major changes in my lifetime already - cell phones, personal computers, the Internet. How cool that I get to witness one that the whole world has been waiting for forever.