I owe you the rest of Mandy's story. Don't worry. It's coming. Last night was tiring as I dealt with Son and his math homework that is based on the CMTs he is taking this month - ALL month. (That's the Connecticut Mastery Test, for you non-locals.) Two packets of 13-page math multiple choice. Insane. The long and the short of this is it's like pulling teeth trying to explain the stuff to him that he doesn't get and eventually, when it was all over, he asked me if I thought he was stupid.
By then I was annoyed and fed up with the whole thing because we repeat this scene nearly every homework session. I know what he wants but I'm stubborn.
"What do YOU think? Do YOU think you're stupid," I ask him.
Shrugs his shoulders that he doesn't know. I guess my telling him he's smart countless times just isn't enough.
"I think you don't try. I think when you do give it that one shot, you then give up when you don't get it. I think you don't think on your own. I think you keep waiting on me to hand you answers but I never have before so why would I start now? I don't understand that way of doing things. I think you come home, rush through your homework to play and watch TV and play on the Wii. When I come home you say you didn't understand something but suddenly you do just because I read it out loud. I think it bugs me a lot because I should be coming home to check homework with you, not do it for the first time when you've been home for hours. And no matter how I try to help you think about a problem more than one way, it just isn't getting in and I don't know how to help you. That's what I think."
Of course after I calmed down I had to find the strength to tell him - again - that I know what he's capable of and the fact the he does well in school and every teacher has said so is just one example of that. I just don't know why he can't bring that ability home with him.
I had to tell him that it's time for him to understand that parents are human and sometimes we don't say the right things; sometimes we say one thing but mean another; sometimes we just don't have it in us to build someone else that day when we're probably needing to build ourselves.
"You have to remember, no matter what I say or your daddy says or ANY adult says to you that may hurt your feelings at that time, YOU have to believe in YOU. You have to know you are smart and able. You have to hold on to that no matter what. I tell you and I tell you but you have to tell yourself too and believe it and fight to keep it because one day you are going to be gone and on your own and you may not have anyone around to tell you you can do it. You have to tell yourself."
And I look at that face and how big he is now and all I can see is a little boy who still has no clue of the power within himself. I've got a lot of work ahead of me.
But if I could just have him back as a baby sometimes, that would be so cool. It was SOOOO much easier then. My nephew, by the way? He's perfection and for the first time I saw both of my kids in his face.
He is their spitting image at this age of four months. To hold him right now would be as close as I could get to holding mine again. Too bad he's so far away.
UPDATE: Came home tonight after writing this post today and saw the kids' report card. Both are doing great. One thing the teacher said in her comment about Son? "(Son) is strong in math." What the heck, man! What IS that about? Why at school and blank stares at home? Sigh. As they say, as long as the kids are representing you well in public and doing as they should, count your blessings.
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The Start Up Nation Leading Moms in Business 2009 Competition is wrapping up this month and we want to be ON FIYAH! Winning means major publicity - major for us, anyway. Have you voted for us today? Check it out here. We'd REALLY appreciate it if you vote and you can do it every day until March 31, 2009 PT. There's even a new meter there now to show you how hot we are! Go ahead. Vote! We wanna be hot, hot, hot! Thanks for your support!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Brief Battle; Baby Banter
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
It's a Laptop, Baby!
A new laptop today, a new nephew tomorrow? Awesome!
God is great. Joining the PTA - again - netted me a much-coveted prize ever since Mr. T. sold his laptop earlier this year. The PTA had a membership drive and was raffling off a Dell laptop. I won. (Interestingly enough, I won my Dell desktop too a few years back in a raffle for people who had perfect attendance in the business workshop I took.) Now I have my own, which I sorely needed due to the impending side gig. I am finally at phase 3 over a month after I first sent my resume to them. It's not them, though. Twice I had to have 3-hour blocks of time to take the test and that's not easy to find during a typical week let alone the crazy ones I've had lately. But now I am laptop happy and can go back to wandering the house to do what I need to do instead of sitting at a desk. I suppose it may be the fact that I am already sorta tied to a desk all day that makes me resent doing it at night too. And with Son taking over more and more every day, I need to see what he sees a little easier than I do right now. So tonight I go play with it and hopefully it has wireless already so I don't have to buy a card.
And speaking of buying, I've got to jump online tonight to get what I was going to buy my new nephew. He wasn't due for another week but his mom needed to be induced because he is apparently smaller than he should be and they think he would be better out than in. So my guess is he'll be here tomorrow - maybe tonight! - and November will forever be the month the U.S. made history and my family got another boy to carry on the family name.
Can't wait!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Sweet Summer!
Where did the Spring go? It was in and out, haunted by Fall temperatures and Summer sun but it never really had its chance to shine. Still, it was as much my chance to bloom as the rest of nature.
I wrapped up my incubator and I joined the business network I've been looking to join. If you have a business in any stage or if you just want to make some personal changes in your life, I really think Ladies Who Launch is an excellent resource for all that and more. The incubator was so inspiring and motivational and even though I am a self-motivator, it propelled me even more to do things I might have been dragging my feet to do. So I'm content in the possibilities and focusing one huge thing for next year but we have to see if we'll even get the chance to do it. In the meanwhile, my local paper interviewed us after I sent them a press release on a teen sales program we are launching. A few buyers have asked to see samples and my plan is to hound them until I get an answer one way or another. More samples are going out to trade publications and blogs and I'm hoping for the best. I've reconnected with my sorority and even though they are too far for me to go to monthly meetings, it's good just to expand my network in that direction. It's one of my avenues for giving back and my chance to help some younger people make their own marks in the world. It's good.
Today I force myself to step back from it all. Well, OK, I do have to mail a few things and I do need to make one phone call to get some clarity on the show we hope to do next year but after that - or maybe I'll be doing all this en route - is Daughter's preschool graduation. Time to watch her shine now and I know she will be smiling and singing her heart out. It's just her way. My little leader. Of course, she then has to turn around and go back to the school for the month of July until it's time to go see the grands but she knows the next step is going to her brother's school and getting on that school bus. My children and my business are growing up. Yay.
Oh, and so is my brother. My niechew has officially become a nephew and in 5 more months he's here. I wonder if I can sneak down there for the weekend when he gets here. I'm sure I'll figure something out so I can hold that baby while he's brand new. I LOVE brand new. But no, not ready for my own yet.
Now it's off to finish breakfast. We are taking the kids to Hershey Park for the weekend and they don't know it and there is still much to do. Catch you all later.
