I am so sleepy right now. I'm having dreams, folks. Will this or won't this work out? I'm pretty sure I dreamed of Daughter painting her room last night but that may have been brought on by the number of times she kicked me in my sleep. She was obviously determined to get into my subconscious, even if she literally had to karate kick her way in.
Still, this whole thing is making it harder to fall to sleep, that's for sure. My mind won't stop going, which is normal for me but this is a little past normal. The hurdle I was expecting to be the big hurdle isn't the hurdle that is currently on my mind. It's the loan. It was not as I expected it to be and it looked like we were going to be paying more for a mortgage than we were expecting and yet we can't be sure because our mortgage broker has yet to sit down with us and explain everything. When I called the broker to tell her about it she said to throw all that paperwork away. She wasn't done. Great day. I should have taken a picture of how much paper there was but I was only too happy to get rid of it, so I shredded it. Hmm. Maybe I'll take a photo of all the shredded paper tonight if Mr. T. hasn't tossed it out by now. In the meanwhile I do feel a little better because I got my insurance guy involved in this to do the homeowner's insurance. (If you are looking to buy, this is one of the things you may have to do for yourself, be aware.)
Overall, I still feel there is a lack of communication and generally too much, "Don't worry, be happy" being thrown about. So me being me, I take matters into my own hands. The broker gets a shot at doing this deal, mainly because it was already in the works anyway, but I spoke to a banker I know personally to see what she thinks and to see if she can do better. We have one week until closing. All we can do is see what happens.
Now, the reason I am writing this today is to share what I already knew (and got confirmation on) and to share what I've learned. If you are looking to buy a house for the first time ever (or if your first deal was a bad one), please take heed but be sure to go get your own answers.
Here are some of my thoughts on this:
1 - Get someone like you to represent you. I told you who our RE is and it was just part of the deal, as far as I am concerned. She had her own people that she deals with as well so that took away a lot of choices initially.
2 - Know it's ALMOST never too late. When you sign your bid, ask about the contract. Will this be turned into a contract, or will there be one later to sign? That contract should give you the drop dead date for securing whatever you need so if you go. Mine got changed last night from Dec. 15th to "on or before Dec. 25th" but the broker is determined to stick to the 15th. At this point, we just have to keep going but I still have to get clarification as to whether or not we can call this quits if we don't like the loan that comes our way, or at least if we can put it off another few weeks to try another company. Frankly, I'm praying this woman gets it right, despite my leeriness of her because we all want to be done but we want it to be done right.
3 - Go to a first-time homebuyer's class if you can. I've learned a lot of things over the years and over the past few weeks. I know who to ask but if I could have done this, I would just to see what else I should know. It doesn't hurt to have the knowledge. You can't ask the right questions if you don't know what to ask and as my experience can tell you, not everyone will volunteer the information for whatever reasons of their own.
4 - Get an attorney as early as possible. If your RE or banker is handling it, cool, but make sure one is in their somewhere. You need someone neutral.
5 - Inspection/Appraisal/et al. You may be footing these bills and it's highly unlikely you will get this money back if you don't go through with the deal so make sure you really want this. As I told you before the inspection guy has proven to be the most helpful of all. If you live in CT and need a referral, I'll pass his name to you. I loved him. Speaking of bills, I mentioned finding your own insurance earlier? Well, that's something you not only have to do before closing but you pay for the whole year's worth of insurance beforehand as well, at closing. Be prepared.
6 - Shop around. Get that banker or broker to tell you upfront what kind of deal they are working out. Shop that around. You have to be honest with yourself, however. If your credit isn't the greatest, don't expect an awesome deal. Know your credit score so you can know what to expect. Down the road you can always refinance but you'll have to keep on top of your credit until that point because you still will need the best score you can get to get the best rate. And speaking of credit...
7 - Don't pull it too often. According to a financial expert I know, you have 2 weeks to shop around for bug ticket items like a car or mortgage. That means they can pull like crazy in that time and not have it affect your score. But after that, if they pull it you run the risk of getting hit in the credit score. Now, if you are using a broker (and I still don't think it's the best way to go but you do what you must), the possibility exists that they will pull your score to preapprove you. There is also the chance that the company they will deal with may do the same. Stay on top of them. Be sure you know your score prior to all this and be sure you are continuing to pay things as normal so you can know where to look if things go awry.
8 - Don't get emotional. Buying and selling a house is emotional stuff, no doubt about it. Buyers have to have a poker face and sellers need to grow some steel around their hearts. I am blessed to have smart friends and truly supportive family. I turn to them to help me think things through and not to let myself be ruled by emotions because I know I am an emotional person but I am OK with that. When things get tense, you need a cooler head. Someone neutral, like that lawyer. But if not the lawyer, then someone who will be HONEST with you about what they see and if they have real experience to add to the mix, then all the better. Just like the seller in this case who was allegedly insulted by my saying the carpets would have to go, you can lose out if you aren't careful. You have to keep your eyes on the prize but at the same time you can't be a doormat. If you're a go-along-to-get-along kind of person, you may have a hard time here so be honest about who you are (at least to yourself) and make sure someone tough is with you.
9 - Where's the proof? In case you didn't know, eventually you may have to prove you have the money. In the bank or somewhere that has your name on it. If you are expecting help, get it secured beforehand and stick it in the bank so it looks like you've had it awhile. Don't ask me. It just seems to be the way it is.
10 - Keep family out. I said it before and I stick by this. Try not to let your uncle the real estate agent do this job for you. Not unless you REALLY work well together. I know it's possible some relationships can handle this but why risk it? Unless you know for sure Aunt Mitzy the lawyer is going to do the job and not treat you differently or even worse because you are family, then take the chance if you care to. But I just think if you can skip them, do.
This is all I've got for you for now but if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
A Little Home-Buying Advice
Sunday, June 04, 2006
My Life as a Drawer
This is my top drawer. It's not MY dresser, per se. It's my Husband's. Who knows how long he's had it. For sure as long as I've known him and that's about 13 years now. But I'm sure he's had it at least since high school; probably longer. But I live in there for now while we live with my MIL.
This drawer represents my life at the moment and you can see why I'm going a little stir crazy and in need of a house. The stuff I use regularly is on top, though not that blue cap. That granny cap rose from the bottom one day as I dug feverishly looking for my pink (see a theme here?) container of Pills. I rummaged noisely, pushing aside Daughter's bag o' barrets, digging through envelopes that don't need to be there, diving under 3 boxes of flash cards I have to hide there lest they get strewn all over the house, and all this while Husband slept. I found The Pills and grew even more disdainful of that drawer and all it represents - clutter, chaos, confusion and a total lack of civilized living.
Tonight I am sleepy. I've been sleepy a lot lately but I know it's just something short of exhaustion right now. (Aside: I'm reading Stephen King's "On Writing" and he admits to having times of manic workaholism and then times of near lethargy. Glad to know it's not just me.) The exhaustion, I am certain, is partly due to a lack of my own personal space. 
Not too long ago tonight, before I checked back on here, I turned off the TV after watching a show I have grown to enjoy - HBO's Big Love. Talk about a lack of personal space! I suppose things could be worse for me. I could have been born into a belief system that allowed Husband to have more than one wife and then where would I be?! Then again, those women each have a house - if not total privacy - so they are still at least one step ahead of me! Aside: I really find this show fascinating. A perspective I've never seen before in a TV show. What do ya'll think?")
Anyway, I'm just venting a little here. Nothing major tonight. Just want to push my 30-lb 2-year-old girl over to Husband's side and claim some space before she gets into her usual horizontal position and kicks me in the ribs, as if she didn't get enough of doing that while I carried her. God, please give me patience to wait for my house where we'll have our own bedroom again and a KING size bed where children are prohibited - unless being carried in the womb!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Holy House Hunting, Batman!
So something else I disdain is house hunting. Not that I'm very experienced in this. We've only been looking for about 2 months and not very hard at that. We look, we laugh, we drive on. I've been telling people that house hunting is like dating - you see something you like, you get butterflies and you think, "Maybe." Then you go see it and see it's surroundings yet you still say, "Maybe." You get inside and oh boy, so not what you were expecting. You leave, dejected, looking back hoping something will transform before your eyes, wondering what you can do to change it but you talk sense into your own head and go off to see the next prospect.
Maybe Husband and I are still in the unrealistic stage as far as what we're going to be able to get. We're not rich, that's for sure. Not monetarily. But Husband and I are blessed. We have great jobs that we love and that love us back. He can do overtime and, even though I can't, I believe my bosses know how to show that they value people. So, we can't complain. But we live in Connecticut - Fairfield County, CT. Know anything about this place? Well, let's just say that if you can make it here, you can make it in New York and California. In other words, it costs beaucoup bucks to live here, whether you make good money or not. But if you do want to accumulate wealth, you need to have a home. It's as simple as that. And after you get your first one, ideally it will get easier to get what you really want the 2nd time around because you'll have something of real value to sell. Plus, I want to own at least 2 more homes later, one for each child so we can rent them out and sell them when they get ready to go to college or do whatever they plan to do after high school. But we have to get the first one first.
After years of not being homeowners, it is simply time. We live with my MIL. This situation is only truly comfortable for the child of the parents in whose home you reside, and that's not me. It's a blessing as well, don't get me wrong. But I moved out of my parents' house in 1994, approximately 2 years after I graduated college, and I haven't looked back. I've had my own place for years (as a renter) but to save money, get rid of bills and take the next step, my MIL said, "I told Husband when you two got married to come live with me so you could save money." Husband didn't tell me that because he didn't think I'd want to do it. MIL had to tell me three years later. He was right AND wrong, but we won't talk about that right now. We've been here 1 1/2 years now and it is beyond time to go. But thanks to my MIL and some other Godsends, I've got manageable debt, some savings and can finally enjoy my marriage today, look toward tomorrow and not be overshadowed by yesterday - also another topic for another time.
So we look. There's too many Capes out there for my taste. Must be a New England thing but why one or two bedrooms on the main floor and two upstairs? Either both of my children will be on a floor separate from us or one will. And what first-floor bedroom occupant will have his/her sleep constantly interrupted by the noisy people in the kitchen (we love the thought of entertaining, at last)? Nope. Bad idea all the way around. We do, however, know what we want. It will probably look something like that one up there. ^ They are cookie cutter houses, after all:
New construction, Colonial
Minimum 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths
2-car garage
Full basement (preferably completed)
Sizeable back yard (must have room for swing set)
In the town we already live in
On a tertiary street (Don't like that word? It means not primary, i.e. busy, and not secondary, i.e. likely to have people cutting through to avoid the primary street, yet not so deeply buried that we'd have to send guides and dogs with extra food stored around their necks to show you to our house.)
With room to grow (another kid in the future? We shall see.)
The reality is we may have to squeeze ourselves into something just so we can get our start. We are not a starter-home sized family but that may not matter. Why? Let me show you the numbers:
So you see? These are the scary numbers. I hate looking around but I hate not knowing what's going on even more so I let my MIL - our real estate agent - look things up. Husband finds new constructions all the time and we wait and we look and we save and we pray and we hope and we wait and we look some more. I don't know how long this will take but if you're keeping up with me then you already know I am impatient. But Husband is my complement. He knows how to wait for the right thing (hmm, sounds like a compliment to me!) and he knows how to look for a bargain (hmm, again) and when he says we're going to get what we want, I believe him. He's a challenging man for impatient old me but he hasn't let me down yet.
